


Unexpectedly Expecting

by petra_austria



Category: Ben Hardy - Fandom, Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Pregnancy, complicated relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2020-10-19 07:27:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20653427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petra_austria/pseuds/petra_austria
Summary: Ben and you have been best friends for several years now. You were almost like one of the guys, going to football games with him and his friends, hanging out together a lot. Your boyfriend of two years broke up with you pretty much out of the blue because he didn’t want any kids, but you felt like running out of time. You come crying to your best friend and he comforts you in an unexpected way with unexpected consequences.





	1. Chapter 1

It was raining heavily as you were walking down the street. Of course, it was! What else to expect from London in the middle of February? You had pulled the hood of your jacket deep into your face and pressed your purse close to your chest as you hurried along the way.

When his house finally came into view, you felt a little relieved. You felt the tears in your eyes, keeping yourself from crying again just about so. You almost ran up the stairs, careful not to trip, and pressed your finger on the buzzer for his flat.

“Come one, come on”, you mumbled to yourself while you waited for the crack in the intercom system, telling you that he was home. “Hello?”, you heard his deep voice and felt relieved that he was actually home. “Hey, it’s me, can I come up?”, you said and felt your voice cracking. Instead of an answer, the door buzzed and you pushed it open. You didn’t have the patience for the elevator and instead ran up the four flights of stairs to his flat.

Ben was already waiting in his open door when you took two steps at a time to arrive at his floor faster. He immediately noticed your red eyes from crying and your smudged mascara. You basically threw yourself in the arms of your best friend and the tears started flowing again. “Y/N? What happened?”, he sounded alarmed but immediately put his strong arms around you. He hadn’t seen you like this since your last break-up…shit.

He pulled you inside his flat and closed the door with his foot. You stood there for what felt like a forever while you stained his shirt with your tears and snot. He brought you to his couch and gently placed you on it by pushing you down on your shoulders. Without asking, he grabbed a bottle of vodka from the freezer and two shot glasses and placed them in front of you on the couch table.

You took off your wet raincoat and pulled the boots from your feet. You pulled your legs under and buried your hands in the middle pocket of your thick sweater. You were freezing from walking around outside in this shitty weather.

Ben poured you a drink and you both knocked back your first shot of the evening. You just held out your shot glass for a refill. He filled it without a comment. You knocked back your second drink and then leaned back on his couch.

“Can you now tell me what happened? I’m kinda freaking out right now”, Ben said to you as he leaned against the couch next to you, turning to his side so he could look at you properly. You wiped your eyes and nose with your sleeve. “Aiden and I broke up”, you told him and your voice felt shaky again. “I figured that but thanks for the confirmation”, he said, glad there hasn’t been a death in the family.

“Just now?”, Ben asked after a few seconds to get you to tell him everything. “Actually, last week”, you admitted and played with your fingers, not looking up. “And you’re telling me just now?”, Ben asked surprised and a bit angry. “You’re always busy”, you defended yourself. “Not too busy for my favorite girl. I always have time for you”, he assured you. “Tell that to the dozens of voicemails I have to leave you because you rarely pick up on the first try”, you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Can you please just tell me what happened? From the beginning?”, he said and rested his head on his arm against the backrest of the couch. You took a deep breath to steady your voice. You opened your mouth to say something and closed it again. You shook your head, scooted forward and poured yourself another shot. Ben watched you with a little smirk and waited patiently until you leaned back on the couch again.

“Aiden and I had a huge fight last week. I just asked him what he wanted to do for Valentine’s this year and he suddenly yelled at me that he doesn’t know and I put way too much pressure on him. At first, I was confused, of course, I mean it’s just bloody Valentine’s. We can skip it or whatever…but then I quickly realized he was talking about more than Valentine’s day and it quickly escalated into yelling and throwing stuff”, you told Ben. “Did he hurt you?”, Ben immediately asked with clenched teeth. “No! No, he didn’t touch me”, you calmed him down. “Actually, we haven’t been touching much for months”, you added and wiped your nose with your sleeve again.

“I should have seen this coming, you know? We had problems for a while, I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. I got really drunk on New Year’s and hoped we could spark the fire again, but I got so blindly drunk that night, we both did actually, that we both fell asleep in our clothes in the living room and woke up late the next day. And with a hangover, I didn’t feel exactly sexy the next morning”, you rolled your eyes at yourself.

“But if you had a fight last week, why are you at my door crying tonight instead of last week?”, Ben asked and you nodded. Good question. “We had the huge fight and he stormed out, telling me he needed space and would stay at a friend’s place”, you continued. “So, I still had hope, no, actually believed that we would be fine again soon. But when I came home today after work, and I hadn’t heard from him all weekend, I found him packing up the last few of his things. He had removed everything of his stuff, my flat looks like it’s been burgled”, you huffed and felt the tears coming again. “He just said to me that he doesn’t love me anymore and for him, it had been over for months, he was just holding on because he didn’t want to hurt me and we were going into two different directions in our lives and blah, blah, blah”, you said and almost laughed at the irony. “Well, I’m hurt now, so that didn’t work”, you added.

“Did he say what he felt pressured about? Like, did he give you actual reasons or just the generalized nonsense?”, Ben asked you. You looked up at him and a little smile appeared in the corner of your mouth. “That’s exactly what I asked you when you and Kat broke up”, you remembered. A light smile appeared on his lips, but a sad one. “Yeah, well, I’m learning to listen. That was one of the reasons she listed, right?”, he asked a bit sarcastically and now it was him that poured himself another shot. “Make it two”, you said and nodded at the empty glass in front of you. He handed you your fourth drink and you knocked it back with no hesitation. You started to feel the alcohol in your system. You hadn’t eaten anything since you had come home from work.

“Babies”, you said into the silence that had formed between you. “Sorry?”, he asked like he had been in thoughts himself. “I brought up the baby topic more often around him, not like directly asking him, but talking about babies, making up friends who were pregnant and other stupid stuff. He picked up on it, but not in the way I had hoped”, you told your best friend of six years. “He got freaked out by the idea that I wanted a baby in the very near future. He wasn’t ready, I guess”, you shrugged your shoulders. The thought of having a baby and that it just had moved further back in your possibilities was the real reason the tears were rushing to your eyes again.

“But you have plenty of time”, Ben snorted. “I’m older than I want to admit. If I want a baby I have to get going”, you noted. “Y/N, we’re the same age”, he belittled. “For women it’s different! I hear my inner clock ticking, and it’s ticking fast, Ben, very fast”, you explained with an urgency.

“But you don’t even like kids, Y/N”, Ben said a bit confused. “Ben, I used to work as a kindergarten teacher”, you furrowed your brows, looking at him like he was a bit stupid. “But you always told me how annoying they were and how stressful your day was”, he countered. You rolled your eyes at him. “You also always complain to me about the long filming days, the stressful press tours and all the downsides of your fame, but I still know that you love what you do”, you ranted. “You should really pick up on that listening stuff again”, you joked and chuckled lightly. “Ah, she can smile again”, he picked up on it. You shook your head at him, but a little smile crept on your lips.

“Alright”, he said and stood up suddenly. He walked over to grab his phone, played around with it a little bit and the next moment, Midnight Summer Jam by Justin Timberlake blasted through the Bluetooth speakers in his living room. “To prove to you that I can in fact listen, this is a song you really like, you told me so a few weeks ago. And like they do in your favorite TV show, Grey’s Anatomy, we’re gonna dance it out now”, he said and put his phone down on the couch table. Then he extended his hand to you and motioned you to stand up. You looked up at him like he had now lost it completely, “Come on now”, he said impatiently and motioned you again to stand up, already swaying his hips to the music.

With a deep sigh, you took his hand and he immediately pulled you to your feet. A little reluctantly, you just swayed from side to side, but soon the music got to you and you started jumping around his living room. In fact, it degenerated into a full-blown dance party. You took some more shots and soon took your sweater off as it was getting hotter and hotter inside and kept on dancing in your tank top and skinny jeans.

When you were really out of breath and in full sweat, both of you, you fell back on the couch and Ben brought you a glass of water. You felt really drunk by now and Ben had kept up with you with the vodka and the dancing. In fact, the bottle was now empty, rolling around on the floor. With the water, he brought a sixpack of beer and handed you a bottle. You started talking about random stuff and ended up sitting on the floor in front of the couch. Your head was on his shoulder when you took the last sip from your bottle of beer. Without a comment, Ben handed you the next one.

Either it was the alcohol, the dancing, having your best friend Ben or the combination of all three, but you felt better, way better actually. “I guess it’s better this way. I think we weren’t really meant to be”, you spoke up after it had gotten silent again. As soon as the words had left your mouth, you knew that it was true. You had fallen out of love with Aiden a while ago and were just too scared to admit it to yourself.

Ben stared at the wall across from you and took a sip of his bottle. “Probably”, he nodded. There was nothing more to be said.

Suddenly, you started giggling. Ben looked down at you confused and realized he already had trouble focusing on your face. He blinked a few times and it was better. “What’s so funny?”, he asked.

“Ever since we met, this is the first time we’re both single at the same time, you know?”, you observed. “Mhm”, he hummed. You looked up at his face. “We are both single, aren’t we? Did I miss something?”, you asked alerted. Weren’t you the only one that had held something back the last few days?

You sat up and looked straight at him. “What?”, he asked suspiciously. “Do you want to tell me something, Jones?”, you asked with a crooked eyebrow and felt yourself swaying in your seat. You must be drunker than you thought. “No, nothing to tell here. Just…I haven’t been an angel”, he confessed with a smug grin and took another sip of his beer. “Says the guy that actually played an angel?”, you messed with him and it made you both laugh.

“Why is that important?”, he asked, curious of your line of thoughts. “It’s not, it just reminded me of how we met way back and how it might have ended when we both had been single at that time”, you shrugged your shoulders, looking down at your beer bottle where you had started to peel off the label.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You remember how you met Ben back in 2012 on a girls trip to Prague when he was there with his friends to celebrate a birthday...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben’s little visit to Prague this year gave me the inspiration to this kind of first meeting. Enjoy!  
Also thank you all so much for the many clicks!

2012, Prague

You were in your first year of working at a firm as office assistant and you had already gotten good friends with one of the secretaries, Claire. She invited you to her bachelorette party along with her friends and the other office assistant Julie, which was about the same age as you.

You were honestly surprised when she invited you, not thinking you were that close with her, but even more surprised when she told you it was in Prague.

Just two weeks later, you found yourself with Claire, Julie and four other women you didn’t know all dressed up, walking down the party mile in the old town of Prague. Claire was full on dressed with a short vail, a blinking hairband with penis motives and a pink tutu around her waist. She had made reservations in a club and a little later, you all sat down in a booth. A waiter brought a bucket of vodka with sparklers and cans of RedBull.

You stayed in the background with Julie as everyone seemed to be best friends. They were all nice and made efforts to engage you two in the conversation. Well, more like yelling and ultimately singing along to the loud music.

You were all drinking and scream-singing to songs like Icona Pop’s I love it and Bruno Mars’ Locked out of heaven. “Oh my god, I love that song! LET’S DANCE!”, Claire screamed at your direction when Don’t stop the party by Pitbull came on and pulled you on the dancefloor. You immediately grabbed the arm of Julie and the next moment, all seven of you were on the dancefloor, jumping around and dancing. It was very crowded and you hadn’t really space to move but it was fun and you really enjoyed yourself.

Claire told everyone that came by that she was getting married. A lot congratulated her, a few even bought her drinks. She even managed to find a group of men from England who were celebrating a birthday here. You vaguely looked over the group, you even made short eye-contact with a blonde guy. They were all cute guys but you had a boyfriend at home that you loved, even though he wasn’t speaking to you at the moment because he was mad at you for going to Prague. You shook off the thought about him and kept on dancing. The men moved on to another corner of the club and you quickly forgot about them.

“Hey, we should play some hen-night-games”, one of Claire’s friends suggested. You had already forgotten her name and now it was too late to ask again. “Yeah, let’s do that!”, Claire jumped on the idea, already pretty drunk. Your head was dizzy as well but you blamed it on the dancing.

You all went back to your booth and ordered another round of drinks. “What are hen-night games?”, Julie asked. “One friend had to put nail polish on random guys’ fingernails”, one suggested. “My friend Annabelle was challenged how many guys would let her draw a dick on their forehead with her lipstick”, the one from the dancefloor told the group. “I walked around with a piggy bank in the shape of a penis and if men paid me, I would kiss them”, the oldest of the group told her hen-night-story. You believed her name was Gwen. “Like full on snog?”, Julie asked with big eyes. “No, just a peck on the lips or the cheek. But there were a few I would have loved to snog”, Gwen recollected and her mind wandered.

“Uh, the kissing for money thing is good. I like that. BUT since I’m the bride, I’m going to change it up a bit and you all have to go along with it”, Claire declared and pointed at every one in the round. “I will give one of you money to go over to a random guy that I choose right here right now and you have to kiss him. No tongue if you don’t want to but full on the lips”, Claire explained her version of the game and your stomach turned. You had a bad feeling about this.

The other ones all looked delighted, overly excited actually. Everyone but you. Claire stood up and needed a moment to find her balance. “And I choose…”, she said and started slowly spinning with her arm stretched out, pointing with her finger at every single one of her girlfriends.

“Please not me, please not me, please not me”, you mumbled to yourself, your eyes squinted. “Y/N!”, Claire yelled and you opened your eyes in shock. “I can’t, I have a boyfriend”, you remarked. “Boooo!”, Claire screamed at your face and the others joined in. “Nobody cares about boyfriends or husbands tonight”, she exclaimed. “Especially you shouldn’t. Girls”, with that Claire turned to the group. “Y/N’s guy gave her a hard time because she was coming with us to Prague and is now pouting at home”, she explained and the other’s booed again. “So, I say, let’s give him something to pout about. Am I right, ladies?”, she yelled and the other joined in.

“So, I give you 50 quid if you go to our British friends over there and give the blonde cutie a night he never forgets”, Claire expressed her bet for you and pointed at the group of men you hadn’t noticed close to your booth out on the dancefloor. “What? No fucking way!”, you screamed out. “Okay, a 100 quid. Last offer”, she added. You leaned over to look at the group of guys from before. They were all jumping around stupidly to Gangnam style that was currently playing and you had to roll your eyes. A bunch of kids, although it looked like you were the same age.

Claire pulled out a 100 pounds-note and waved it in front of your face. You were contemplating while the others cheered you on. “I’m the bride, my wish is your command”, she reminded you with a high pitched, singing voice. You pulled a face and finally grabbed the money out of her hand which made the others cheer loudly.

“I need at least three shots before I can do this”, you said and they immediately ordered. When the waiter brought a tray of shots, Claire put three in front of you. You stood up and shook your limps like you were about to do a sprint. You downed the three shots quickly and the alcohol burned in your throat.

Just get this over with, you thought to yourself. You would just explain to him that this was a hen-night-game and apologize and it would be over quickly.

“Alright, let’s do this”, you said and took a deep breath. “Oh, and by the way, you’re not allowed to tell him it’s a game”, Gwen advised you. Your eyes went big. There went your plan. “Just go over there and do it”, Claire said and pushed you towards the edge of the booth. She was right, just go there, get it over with and come back.

You walked down the three steps of the booth area and squeezed past a dozen people before you reached the group of Brits. You felt that the shots started working and even if you wanted to, you weren’t really able to think about it too much. “Come on, Y/N, you got this”, you said to yourself.

You walked over to the group of men, the blonde was already looking at you as you were coming straight at him. “Hi”, you said when you finally stood in front of him. “Hey”, he said, a little weirded out. “I’m SO sorry”, you said and held your hands up in defense. “Sorry about w…”, he asked but got interrupted by you crashing your lips onto his. Your arms flung around his neck automatically. You didn’t plan on it, but your tongue made its way into his mouth and played around with his. You weren’t sure if the alcohol you tasted were on your tongue or his.

You felt his arms around your waist and he pressed you against him for a moment. The next second, when you came to your senses again, you pushed back. You both looked at each other startled. His friends around you cheered and laughed, but you barely noticed them. You cleared your throat and the next moment the loud music was back in your ears like someone had just took out some earplugs.

“You’re a good sport”, you patted his chest, turned on your heels and quickly walked away. The crowd swallowed you immediately and spit you back out near your booth. “You did it!”, Claire screamed at you when you came up the stairs. All the others wanted to give you a high five and while you made your round, you started laughing. This was so absurd.

A few minutes later, you excused yourself to go outside for a smoke. You walked a few steps away from the entrance of the club and enjoyed the quiet corner. The loud music was getting on your nerves and your head was pounding. Also, you felt weird since the kiss, your lips were still tingling. Absentmindedly, you rubbed over them with your finger before you pulled out a cigarette and your lighter.

“Mind if I join you?”, someone asked and when you looked up, it was the guy you had just kissed. You took a step to the side to welcome him in your corner, still a bit startled that he was standing next to you after thinking you’d never see him again.

“Oh, I thought you might wanted your gum back”, he said and made chewing movement with his jaw and put his hand up to his mouth. For a second, you weren’t sure if you have had a gum in your mouth when you kissed him but before you could come to a conclusion, he started laughing. “I’m just messing with you”, he said and put his hands up in defense.

“It was just a bet. This is a hen night. So, don’t get your hopes up”, you told him half joking, half concerned that’s why he came out here. You put a cigarette between your lips and held up your lighter. You took a few puffs. “Oh, wait”, you said as he put a cigarette in his mouth and held up the fire for him. He took a few puffs as well and then you put the lighter back in your purse.

“Don’t worry, I figured that with the hen-night stuff. We saw you girls on the dancefloor. Also, I have a girlfriend back home, so don’t worry”, he explained to you. It was weird, but you felt relieved and kind of jealous at the same time. “And I have a boyfriend”, you told him. “Then we’re all good”, he said and took a drag from his cigarette. He blew the smoke into the warm night.

“I’m Ben by the way”, he said and extended his hand. “Y/N”, you said and shook it. You started giggling half way through. Ben looked at you with a confused smile himself. “This situation is so absurd”, you started explaining, still chuckling. “I practically assaulted you with a kiss in there, then we exchange names and we both are in a relationship. It’s just so fucking weird”, you explained further and Ben chuckled as well. “Only in Prague”, he said like it was a slogan. “I guess…”, you mumbled and looked into the distance while you took a puff of your cigarette. The nicotine calmed you down.

You stood there until both of you had finished your cigarettes, then you went back inside and you thought this was the end of you and Ben.

About a month later, your boyfriend took you to a flat warming party of a uni friend of his and Ben was one of the other guests. He had come with his girlfriend who was introduced to you as Kat. You were nervous as you hadn’t told your boyfriend about what had happened in Prague and you didn’t know what Ben had said to his girlfriend. Just in case, you and Ben formally shook hands and introduced each other. You were on the edge half of the evening until you caught Ben alone in the kitchen when he came to grab another beer.

“Hey, so, uhm, Ben. There’s no elegant or polite way to ask this, so I’ll just shoot straight ahead. Did you tell your girlfriend about what happened in Prague?”, you asked him in a whispering tone. He scanned your face for any hints and hesitated with his answer. “No, I didn’t, did you?”, he asked in return. “No, me neither. So, there’s no reason to mention it any further, right?”, you asked hopefully. “Yes, totally. I mean, I was so drunk, did it really happen?”, he asked and pulled a face like he had made a joke. “Same here! So drunk. All I remember is two people smoking a cigarette in peace in front of a club”, you said, relieved you both were on the same page.

You were able to enjoy the rest of the night and engage in easy and fun conversation with Ben and the people around you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After reminiscing about how you met in Prague 7 years ago and how you felt back then, alcohol got the better of Ben and you. Besides your better judgement, you find yourself on top of Ben, pulling off your shirt…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, this so far is the chapter why this story is explicit. Enjoy!

2019, London

“Isn’t it weird, considering the way we met, that we actually ended up being best friends?”, you mumbled at Bens shoulder. Your beer was empty and the label half pulled off. “Can you believe it’s almost been seven years since we met?”, you added to your former question and looked up at his face. He was staring at the turned off TV across from the couch, looking like he was in thoughts.

Pictures of the night in Prague flashed before your inner eyes and now that you were concentrating on them, not only images but also feelings from the night came back. How nervous you had been and how taken off guard you were when you had kissed him, even in your drunken state. For a split second, your now drunk brain made you wonder what it would feel like to kiss him now after all these years and the friendship you had built up. Your friendship. This would be one hell of a mess.

“Do you sometimes think about what would have happened when we both hadn’t been in a relationship that night?”, you asked him despite your better judgement, which was clearly taking an alcohol break. Also, the alcohol made you chatty, on Ben it normally had the opposite effect. He looked down at your face at his shoulder. “Do you?”, he asked and his speech was a bit slurred.

All of a sudden you felt weird as if the energy in the room had shifted. He was staring at you intensely and it made you swallow hard. “I do now”, you almost whispered. Your voice was a bit shaky but you kept the eye contact. “What do you think would have happened?”, he asked you and the way his voice sounded, it gave you goosebumps.

Your eyes darted from his eyes to his lips and back up. “I don’t know”, you said slowly, insinuating that you very well knew what you would have done back then in your little smokers’ corner.

You couldn’t really say that you were thinking things through when you lifted your head a little and you were sure Ben wasn’t thinking straight when he leaned down and the next moment your lips touched, almost shy at first. You pulled your head back first and looked at his face, searching for regret, but you didn’t find any. You also listened to your inner voice if she spoke up against this, but she was still singing and dancing to Midnight Summers Jam by Justin Timberlake in some corner of your brain, so no help there. You figured, if you didn’t feel any strong feelings against this, it couldn’t be that bad.

You sat up straight and turned your upper body towards Ben, who put down his also empty bottle of beer. You leaned forward again, your lips finding his. After the first hesitation was gone, you deepened the kiss. As you felt his tongue gliding along your bottom lip, you moaned lightly and let your hand wander into his hair.

As you opened your mouth to let his tongue in, you straddled him and knocked over an empty bottle with your knee. The clanking of the glass filled the silent living room but you two didn’t care. As soon as you were on top of him, his hands roamed your body. You flung your arms around his neck, tugging lightly at his long hair at the top.

Almost automatically, you started grinding on him. His hands moved over your back down to your ass and gave it a good squeeze which made you whimper at his lips.

“I don’t think this is a good idea”, he said between kisses down your neck. “Yeah, me too”, you agreed but kept grinding into his crotch, your hands on his shoulders as he kept kissing you. “Do you want to stop?”, he asked just before he sucked the skin above your collarbone. You threw your head back at the sensation that was building up inside you. “I’m way too horny to stop now”, you said, put your hands on his cheeks and brought his lips back to yours.

You only leaned back so you could pull your tank top over your head. Ben’s mouth immediately found the top of your breast, sucking at the hot flesh. Your hands reached down to find the hem of his shirt. You grabbed it and pulled it over his head. As you looked down at his broad chest and hard abs, you moaned. “Damn”, you shook your head and bit your bottom lip. “I could say the same”, he said and you found him staring at your breasts.

As if you couldn’t wait any longer, you reached behind and undid the clasp. You pulled the straps off your arms and threw it behind you. Ben’s mouth found your hard nipple and started sucking on it. “Fuck, Ben”, you blurted out at the sensation and held on to his shoulders. The fact that there was still so much fabric between you, especially in your crotch area, frustrated you.

Although you didn’t want him to stop, you pushed him back and crawled off his lap. He looked at you confused. You tried to stand up and had to make a little side step to find your balance. Only now you realized how drunk you were, but it didn’t stop you. You started undoing your jeans and pulled them off. You had to be careful not to tip over as you pulled it off your right leg where it had gotten stuck.

Ben watched you from the floor, a tent clearly showing in his sweatpants. “Come on, what are you waiting for?”, you motioned him to get up and hurry. You were already down to just your panties which started to get soaked at your center. Ben got to his feet and was also a bit wobbly. Now that he was standing in front of you, you once again realized how tall he was. You had to tilt your head back to look him in the eyes.

“So bossy?”, he taunted you, licking his lips. His intense stare made you weak in the knees. “Isn’t that how you like it, Jones?”, you put your chin forward. A dirty grin appeared on his lips as he came even closer and you felt his hand moving past the waistband of your panties, down to your crotch. Two of his fingers rubbed over your clit that was covered in your juices. “Looks like you like it too, Y/N”, he whispered at your ear. You held on to his arms to not fall over as you closed your eyes at the sensation of his touch.

Just when you thought he would kiss you again, he pulled his hand back and slipped out of your touch. You immediately opened your eyes. “Where do you think you’re going?”, you asked confused and a bit angry. “The condoms are in the bedroom”, he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“No time, I need you right here, right now”, you shook your head and reached forward to grab the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling him back to you. “I’m on the pill, we’re all good”, you reassured him and pushed him on the couch. With a dirty grin at your impatience, he shimmed out of his pants, revealing that he wasn’t wearing any underwear beneath them. That little fact made you pulse between your legs.

He sat down on the couch, pulled the pants off his feet and tossed them aside. Meanwhile, you slid down your panties and stepped out of them. Ben watched you closely, stroking his hard cock. You had always wondered what he was packing and he did not disappoint.

You straddled him on the couch, holding on to the backrest as your wet core hovered above his hard cock. Ben aligned himself at your entrance and you slowly sank down, taking him in with a long moan.

Normally, alcohol slowed you down, numbed your nerves and it took you longer to feel as excited or horny when having sex. But you also hadn’t had sex in a few months and maybe it was that fact or Ben or the combination, but as soon as he was inside you, you felt like you were about to explode. Your whole body was aching for him, everywhere that his fingers touched you, your skin tingled.

It didn’t take long and you sped up. You rode him fast and hard as he sucked on your nipples and kneaded your ass with his hands. You bounced up and down on his cock and the sounds of colliding bodies and moans filled the room.

“Fuck, Ben, I’m…”, you said a few times in a row before you came with an intensity you wouldn’t have thought possible in your drunken state. “Fucking shit”, Ben cursed at your shoulder as he emptied himself inside you while you clenched around him. You rode out your orgasm, Ben lazily guiding your hips with his hands and you both tried to calm your breaths.

You kissed his forehead, down his temple and over his cheek until you reached the corner of his mouth. Ben turned his head towards you, looking up with heavy eyes. He kissed you softly, humming at your lips. “What did we do?”, you asked him, half-jokingly. You waited for the regret to kick in, especially since he was still inside you, but it wouldn’t come. Instead, a smile started to form on your lips as you buried your face at the crook of his neck. He smelled good. Like sex, a little bit like alcohol and like…Ben.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think we’re going to remember much in the morning”, he said as his eyes wandered over the countless empty bottle of alcohol on the floor and the coffee table behind you. “Mhm”, you hummed, not sure if you were agreeing or just acknowledging his words. “But until then, let’s fill the time”, he said and suddenly stood up with you still around his waist. You held on to him for dear life as you didn’t trust his drunken ass to not drop you.

“Ben!”, you called out as you went up in the air, flinging your arms around his neck and pressing your thighs against his waist. He carried you over to the bedroom. “Seriously, the bedroom?”, you asked with a raised eyebrow, pulling your head back to look at him. “It’s not like you can go home now. Also, that’s were the condoms are. Better safe than sorry”, he disclosed his thoughts to you and with that, he threw you on the bed, which made you giggle. That orgasm from before had made you even hornier instead of relieving you of some of it. The giggles got stuck in your throat when you felt Ben between your thigs.

You felt nauseous as soon as you came to the next morning. Only slowly you registered that you weren’t in your own bed. You opened your eyes and squinted at the bright sunlight. You turned your head and expected the worst. You saw blonde hair and a naked back, his face was turned the other way. So, it was true, you had slept with Ben. Your best friend. If he still was.

You sighed and covered your face with your hands. You didn’t need to check under your own blanket to know that you were naked as well. You sat up and held the blanket in front of your upper body. You ran your hand through your hair, combing it out of your face. What the hell were you guys thinking? You looked back at him over your shoulder. Your eyes scanned the back of his head down to his naked, muscular back. You bitt your bottom lip at the memory of last night. You weren’t able to recall every second due to the immense consume of alcohol, but you had a clear idea of what had happened last night. But you had no idea what that meant for your friendship.

Your breathing started to get heavy, like someone was sitting on your chest. You needed to get out of here, back to your flat, getting some space between you and this situation. Trying to be as silent as possible to not wake Ben, you pulled back the blanket and swung your feet off his mattress. When you walked around the bed, you came across three ripped-open condom packets. This felt like an unrealistic amount considering how drunk the both of you were. Maybe Ben had ripped open one or two by mistake, but when you picked them up, all three of them were empty. You rolled your eyes at yourself and carried them out to throw them away.

It was only in the living room when you found the first piece of your clothing which you quickly slipped into. You hastily dressed yourself and your hand was already on the door handle when you stopped in your motion. This was ridiculous. This wasn’t some one-night-stand, this was Ben. Not that it would happen again, but you would definitely see him again. At least, if he wanted to.

You sighed and put down your bag again. You walked into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. Just as you poured yourself a cup, you heard footsteps behind you. When you turned around, you found Ben, wearing his sweatpants again, some black t-shirt and a head full of bed-hair. “Morning”, he mumbled and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked a bit uncomfortable and hungover, just like you felt.

“Morning”, you said with a shy smile and handed him your cup of coffee. “Thanks”, he stated and took a sip. You poured yourself another cup and together you walked over to the living room and sat on the couch. As soon as your butt touched the cushion, pictures from last night flashed before your eyes and you immediately stood up again. You moved over a few steps and sat on the armrest. Ben shot you a look you couldn’t decipher.

“So…”, you said as the silence became too much for you. “…that happened”, you added. When you looked over at Ben, you both started laughing. “This is so weird. Why is it so weird?”, you asked when you caught your breath again. “Because we had sex”, Ben said and leaned back on his couch, running his fingers through his hair. “Yes, we did”, you said and slid off the armrest onto the couch. “Are we good?”, you asked and looked over at him. “Of course, we are”, Ben said and put his arm out so you would scoot over. You did and cuddled against his chest, his arm around your shoulders. “We were drunk, you had a bad day, it just…happened”, he contemplated and shrugged his shoulders. Bad day, you could say that, you thought to yourself.

“How much do you remember, actually?”, you asked Ben, testing the waters. “Honestly, not much”, he sighed. “Yeah…me too”, you agreed, which wasn’t the whole truth but it’s not like it would change anything.

“I should probably call in sick at work. There’s no way I can work today”, you told him as you sat up and walked over to your bag to fish for your phone. “What about breakfast?”, he asked. “Only if you give me the greasiest sausages and baked beans possible”, you told him and dialed the number of your office. “I know just the place”, he said and grabbed his car keys. As you walked outside to his parking space, you called your boss. You didn’t even have to act that much considering your state at the moment and then Ben took you out for breakfast. And it was like nothing had happened. Just like it should have.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Oscar weekend is finally here and you can’t wait to stay up all night like you do every year and watch the ceremony. Only this time, your tummy wasn’t playing along and you feel like shit until you make an live changing discovery…

The weeks went by as usual and it was finally Oscars weekend. Ben had been pretty busy and you hadn’t seen him since your after-breakfast, but you were texting. None of you said a word about the night and you liked it that way. Pretending it never happened was the best thing for your friendship.

Just like every year, you took Monday off to watch the Oscars live. You sat on your couch, surrounded by snacks and bottles of prosecco, ready to judge any outfit and cheer on your favorite nominees. This year, you had an even better reason to watch it since Ben and the Bohemian Rhapsody gang was there for their five nominations, including Best picture and Best actor for Rami. You had have the incredible chance not only to visit the set but Ben also managed to make you one of the extras for the Live Aid scenes as you were a massive Queen fan long before you had even met Ben.

You were all set for the night and as soon as the red carpet coverage began, you popped the cork of your first prosecco bottle of the night. Usually, you always got totally pissed watching the Oscars, needing your day off mostly to recover. But as soon as you had opened the bottle and a whiff of the bubbly liquid came across your nose, you immediately felt sick. So sick that you had to jump up and throw up into the sink of your kitchen as it was the closest to you. It came out of nowhere and it hit you so hard that you felt dizzy. As you leaned against the counter, your head hovering over the sink, your boobs hurt from pressing against the edge of the counter. When you were sure you were done, you shuffled back to your couch and snuggled under the blanket. You pushed the full bottle to the edge of the couch table, as far away as possible. Maybe you needed to eat something first.

You opened your favorite snack, Lays salt and vinegar crisps. As soon as you had opened the package, you felt as sick as just a few minutes before and started dry heaving. What the hell was going on?

You held your breath as you took the bag of crisps and the bottle of prosecco back to the kitchen and instead made yourself a cup of chamomile tea. The rest of the night you spent lying on the couch, snuggling under your blanket, taking slow, deep breaths to calm down your twisted tummy and sipping on your tea. You only followed the show half-heartedly, trying to think of the reason you felt so bad. You hadn’t eaten out of the ordinary all week. None of your coworkers were sick. Maybe you had gotten it on the tube. That seemed like the only logical explanation.

When the categories for Bohemian rhapsody came up, you paid more attention, being happy that they won the music editing categories. But when the award for best actor came up, you sat up, now paying full attention. When they said Rami’s name you actually cheered out loud. So well deserved. You were stunned by his performance in the movie, you had watched it dozens of times by now. You even had the pleasure to see it live with your own eyes as an extra at the Live Aid scenes and it was something you would never forget.

The Live Aid performance was your favorite Queen performance of all time. You watched it every year on July 13th, as this was also your birthday.

When the Oscars were over, you texted Ben how happy you were for the all of them, especially Rami and to forward your compliments to him.

You hadn’t been asleep for long when you suddenly woke up. It was like someone had slapped you across the face but it wasn’t someone. It was a thought in your head that had ripped you from your sleep. Suddenly you knew what was going on with you like someone had whispered it into your ear while you were asleep.

Since the Oscars had been over at 5 am and you had managed to sleep for about 90 minutes, you didn’t have to wait long before you were able to go out to the shops and buy what you needed to check your theory. You bought two tests just to make sure and headed back home. You had also bought a bottle of water and jugged it down quickly so you were able to pee as soon as you got home.

You ripped the package open and peed on the stick, then put it on the sink on a piece of toilet paper and waited the longest three minutes of your live. You listed all the facts while you waited. You had been sick last night for no reason, your boobs hurt and you were late. You had never been late a day in your life. But then you also listed all the reasons why it was impossible. You were on the pill, you had used a condom, Ben was so drunk, his sperm couldn’t even have been swimming straight, let alone find your egg. And also, it was just one fucking time!

The alarm tone of your phone made you wince. Okay, time for the truth. With shaking fingers, you reached for the stick and slowly turned it around. You had your eyes closed and tried really hard to take deep and calming breaths. Deep, yes, calming, not so much. “Come on, Y/N. You can do this”, you motivated yourself and turned the stick around the same moment you opened your eyes.

Pregnant.

One word that changed your whole life. “No, no, no, no”, you shook your head and unpacked the second test. There was a chance the test was old or broken or not working properly. You peed on the second stick and waited again, your foot jiggling while you sat on the edge of your bathtub.

Pregnant.

Okay, now you had to believe them. Your heart sank into your stomach, which was turning again and the next moment, you kneeled in front of your toilet. Tears started running down your cheek as you fell back on your butt and sat in front of the bowl, leaning against the counter beneath your sink. You were pregnant. Something you had always wanted, but surely not under these circumstances.

You were pregnant with Ben’s baby. Oh god, Ben! How were you supposed to tell your best friend, who had never shown interest in babies, at least not in your presence, that you were having his baby, resulting from a night that you both silently agreed never happened?

You leaned your head against the wooden counter, looking up at the ceiling of your bathroom, your head spinning. You. Were. Pregnant. You weren’t truly able to conceive the word you were reading on the pregnancy tests you held in your hands. They were practically screaming the word at you.

Okay, time to stop being a baby as there would be one in this home very soon. You got up and called your OB/GYN to make an appointment to make it official and talk to her what was happening now. You were lucky, someone had cancelled and you were able to come this afternoon. Maybe the sheer panic that resonated in your voice helped too,

At four PM, when you stepped out of the doctor’s office, it was official. You were four weeks pregnant, counting from your last period, which you had just learned that’s what they do. Your doctor had given you a few pamphlets, lists of things you weren’t allowed to eat and vitamins to support you in your pregnancy.

As overwhelming as it was, you were happy. Doesn’t matter the circumstances, you had always wanted a baby. And to have it with Ben…there were definitely worse men to have one with. Aiden popped up in your head. You were lucky, it wasn’t his baby after the way he had reacted of you just mentioning babies. In your heart, you knew there was no better man in your life right now to have a baby with. But you were also aware of the chance that Ben would want nothing to do with it, which was understandable. You weren’t in a relationship, you had slept together just one time and he had never expressed an urge to become a father in the near future. Considering the fact that the end of his long-term relationship hadn’t even been a year, it didn’t surprise you.

On your way home, you came by a store with baby clothes in the window and stopped to take a look. While your eyes wandered over the cute little outfits, you placed your hand on your belly. Yes, this was absolutely what you wanted. The possibility of an abortion didn’t even cross your mind. You were going to do this, alone or not. Fueled with new energy and surprised that your motherly instincts have kicked in already, you made your way back home. You texted Ben, asking him when he would be back in London. This was nothing you could do over the phone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to tell Ben that you are pregnant, not knowing what to expect…

On Thursday after the Oscars, Ben knocked on your door. You two had arranged to meet at your flat after work. You knew you had to tell him right from the beginning, you even had a speech lined out in your phone, but now that he was sitting on your couch, you were more nervous than when you found out that you were pregnant.

“Hey, what’s up with you? Why are you so nervous?”, he asked as he noticed you jiggling your foot while sitting next to him on the couch. He felt like something was up the second he had stepped foot into your flat. You avoided eye-contact and were unusually silent.

“Okay”, you finally said and stood up. You walked over to your sideboard and opened the top drawer. You grabbed the two sticks, hiding them in your hand behind your back the best way possible. “There is no easy way of telling you, so I’m just going to be straight with you. Just know that I expect nothing and I was just as surprised and I really want it and there’s no way of talking me out of it, so don’t even try”, you talked so fast even you had trouble understanding the words. “That’s a lot of talking for ‘just shooting straight’”, Ben made quotation marks with his fingers in the air and a crooked smile formed on his face. That wouldn’t be there for much longer, you thought to yourself.

You took a deep breath and sat down next to Ben again. You put the two positive pregnancy tests on the couch table in front of him. Ben’s eyes wandered to the sticks. “Are you…”, he pointed at them and stopped like his brain was wiped clean.

“Ben, I’m pregnant and it’s yours”, you said slowly and with a steady voice, just like you had practiced in the mirror the last few days. He looked at you with big eyes like he didn’t understand what you were saying. You gave him time to process before you continued talking.

You reached out and grabbed his hand. “Please know that I don’t expect anything from you”, you repeated. He looked at your face, then to the tests and back to your face. “But how…why…we used protection, I don’t understand…”, he stumbled over his own words. “Yes, we did. I know how ridiculous it sounds, but my doctor explained to me that the antibiotics I took a few weeks ago because of my wisdom tooth somehow enabled my birth control and the first time we did it without a condom”, you told him what your doctor had told you. Ben swallowed hard and pulled his hand from yours.

“Please don’t think of me as an asshole when I ask you this, but…do you really want to keep it?”, he asked. You sighed. You had expected this question and you totally understood why, but it still hurt. “Yes, I want it. It’s what I wanted for a long time. I know it’s not the best circumstances, but babies are never really planned, right?”, you tried to smile half-heartedly. He slowly nodded. “And you’re sure it’s mine?”, he asked another expected question and it hurt again.

“Yes, you were the only person I had sex with in the past few months”, you told him and folded your hands in your lap. So, it was out, you had told him. You watched his face as endless expressions took turns, giving you a pretty good idea what he was thinking.

Ben reached out and grabbed one of the tests. You could see his lips forming the word pregnant as he read the result. “Wow, this is…”, he said. “Huge, I know”, you finished the sentence for him. “Yeah”, he nodded. “Ben, please look at me”, you said and took his other hand in yours. “Please know that I do not expect anything from you. I know what kind of shock that is for you, believe me, I’m shocked myself. But I really, really want this baby. I don’t blame you if you don’t want anything to do with this”, you told him.

“I don’t know Y/N, honestly”, he stated. “And I don’t expect an answer right away. But please know that I don’t want you going in and out of this baby’s life. Either you’re in or you’re out completely”, you said to him and your motherly instincts kicked in again. He only nodded to show you he understood.

Ben’s eyes wandered down to your belly. Almost shyly he extended his hand and touched your belly. “There is really a baby in there?”, he asked and stared at his hand. You felt tears in your eyes as you looked at him and tried to blink them away. “And it’s mine?”, he added. You nodded and a tear fell down to your cheek. When Ben looked up, you saw tears in his eyes as well. You put your hand over his on your belly.

You two sat in silence, both of your hands on your belly. “You’re going to be a mom”, he spoke up after a while. “Yes, I will”, you took a deep breath and wiped the tears off your face. “And you will be a dad”, you said and looked at him through a veil of tears. “If you want to be”, you quickly added to not undermine your words from before. Ben quickly wiped the tears out of the corner of his eyes and suddenly you felt weird not having his hand on your belly anymore.

“And I thought you introducing me to Brian May and Roger Taylor was the best gift you could have given me”, you told him in an attempt to lighten the mood a little and your eyes wandered to the framed picture of you with the remaining members of Queen in your Live Aid crowd outfit on your wall.

On the Live Aid set in 2017:

You arrived early on set and gathered with the other extras. People of the crew brought you all over to the costume and make-up trailers. You got styled into full 80’s glam, side pony tail included. You texted Ben a picture of you, he might even be able to spot you in the crowd later.

You were instantly overwhelmed when they brought you out to the stage in the giant airfield. As you knew the Live Aid performance by heart, you immediately recognized how amazingly correct the set-up of the stage was. You had practiced with Ben at home, walked with him through the choreography that it took to recreate this special concert, playing the other guys when he needed you to. He had plenty of official rehearsals on set, but he still wanted to get some extra work in.

Almost like at a real concert a guy with a mic on stage hyped you guys up before they started the first shot of the day. You didn’t even need to act when they came out and you had to cheer them on.

The first few days, Ben didn’t really have a chance to come say hi, but when they did a lot of Rami’s close-ups on stage, he managed to sneak you backstage where you met the other guys and Lucy. You felt a little starstruck, even with Ben, when you saw them all in their costumes after a week of going to their concert, basically. That was also the day Ben had the biggest surprise ever for you and he didn’t give you any time to prepare.

“Y/N, can you come with me for a sec?”, he asked as you were talking to Joe backstage. “Yeah, sure”, you said and Ben already pulled on your hand. “Where are we going?”, you asked a little irritated. “You’ll see”, he said and gave you a big grin over his shoulder which made you even more nervous.

The next moment, you saw a giant grey-white afro when you two came around a corner and the next moment you heard Roger Taylor’s voice. Your heart immediately sank. “No, Ben, wait, I’m not ready”, you said and suddenly pulled on his hand, trying to stop him from walking towards your heroes. “You’re as ready as you’ll ever be", Ben wiped away your concerns and ignored the way you pulled on his arm. He kept on walking, you close behind him. “Ben!”, you hissed loudly and dug your nails into the back of his hand but he ignored you. “No, no, no”, you whisper-shouted at him.

“Roger, Brian, I would love to introduce you to one of my best friends and probably one of your biggest fans”, Ben said to the two men and stepped aside, revealing a red-faced, sweaty you. “This is Y/N”, he introduced you. Your mouth was completely dry and your heart was racing when you looked into their faces. Brian May and Roger Taylor looked you in the eyes, actually acknowledging you. You felt like you were about to faint.

Brian must have noticed your nervousness as he was the one to extend his hand first to greet you. “Hello, Y/N, nice to meet you”, he smiled at you and practically put your hand into Roger’s so he was able to greet you as well. Ben nudged you with his shoulder as you were still staring in shock, not saying a word.

“H-hi! It’s so, so great to meet you. Such an honor”, you stumbled over your own words, your voice raspy from your dry throat. And when you thought, you couldn’t embarrass yourself any further, you actually curtsied in front of them. “If you don’t mind, I know she would love to take a picture with you guys”, Ben stepped in as you froze with embarrassment.

“Absolutely, everything for a super-fan”, Roger smiled and winked at you which made you blush even more. Brian and Roger opened some space between them so you could step in and Ben took a picture of the three of you.

“Thank you so, so much, you have no idea what this means to me. What all of this means to me”, you said and gestured around you, including the backstage area of the Live Aid set. Thank god, you had finally found your speech again. “My birthday is July 13th and every year I watch the Live Aid performance”, you told them and Brian gave you a lovely smile. “But you don’t look like you have been alive back then?”, Roger asked. “No, she was minus five”, Ben chuckled.

“Alright, thanks guys, I got to bring her back or Rachel will get mad at me”, he told the Rockstars and put his arm around your shoulders to get you to move. You made one final wave before you left with your best friend.

“Did you really curtsied in front of Brian and Roger?”, Ben asked as soon as you two had turned around a corner, chuckling. “Shut up”, you grunted through clenched teeth while you walked. Your head must be as read as a tomato.

“Hey, look”, he said and pulled out his phone to show you the picture he had taken of you and the two members of Queen. You took the phone from his hand to get a good look. Thank god, you looked decent. No blinking, your face didn’t look that red and you had nothing between your teeth. They, of course, looked amazing.

“Ben, this is without a doubt the greatest thing someone had ever done for me. Thank you so much!”, you turned to him and gave him a tight hug. You even turned your head and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “I will never forget this. Never!”, you exclaimed as you let go of him. You forwarded the picture to your phone via your Whatsapp chat and handed him back his phone.

All in all, you had spent almost two weeks on set and another day when they shot you and the other extras moving and dancing alone in front of a green screen in several outfits and stylings so they could create the large Live Aid crowd on the computer and add it in post.

During your time on set, you had the chance to get to know the other actors a little bit as you would hang with Ben in the breaks. You almost went as far as to call the other “band members” your friends by the end of your time there. You also had the chance to meet up with some of them every now and then when Ben had the chance to meet them in London and was kind enough to invite you.

2019

“Like I’ve said before, you don’t have to decide right now if you want to be in the baby’s life or not”, you said and it still hurt, and probably always will, to say that. The fear that Ben might actually reject that baby, and you in the process, put a big lump in your throat. He just nodded in silence. You could practically see the thoughts running through his mind.

“I better go now. I kinda have to be alone right now”, he said and looked at you apologizingly. “I understand that completely”, you said and the two of you got up from your couch. You walked him over to your door. Ben hesitated for a second but then he gave you a hug. In a way, you felt relieved. This could have gone way worse. But you had to admit to yourself that you were a bit sad that he didn’t jump around with joy.

“One thing though”, you stopped Ben when his hand was already on the door handle. “You can’t tell anyone until I’m over 12 weeks. This all could still end in a miscarriage as I’m just 4 weeks along. Also, it’s bad luck and I don’t want to jinx it”, you told him. “Not even one person?”, he asked, shocked. He clearly needed someone that wasn’t you to talk about this. “You can tell your mom or your brother, but no one else, okay?”, you offered him. He looked at you tormented. “Just 8 more weeks, you got his, Jones”, you patted his back, trying to lighten the mood again. “It’s still me who has the hard job here”, you pointed at your belly and presented him with a crooked smile.

All Ben managed to do was to give you a nod before he finally left your flat. As soon as you had closed the door behind him, you leaned against it. You felt tired like you had just run a marathon. You put your hand on your belly and looked down. “Now we’ll just have to wait and see if daddy’s in or not”, you talked to the baby and lightly patted your tummy.

You felt hungry and walked over to your kitchen to search through the fridge for something to eat, but as soon as you smelled the combined scents of all the food in it, you tumbled over to the sink and threw up. At least 8 more weeks of this…great! And only if you’re lucky and you’re one of the first-trimester-barfers.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gave you a strange call to meet him somewhere in the city. When you turned up, he told you he brought you here to meet his agent and both of them needed to talk to you. You wouldn’t have been able to prepare you for what they had come up with…

Only a few days after you had the talk with Ben, he called you while you were in the office. You were surprised. You thought it would take longer until he had made up his mind. With a nervous tingle in your stomach, you answered the call.

“Hi”, you simply said, not knowing what kind of conversation to expect. Also, you hoped, if he was about to tell you he wouldn’t be in, he would at least have the decency to not do it over the phone.

“Hey, Y/N. Uhm, can we meet up later?”, he asked you and to you it sounded like he was nervous. Your heart immediately sank. “Later as in…?”, you asked. “In about an hour?”, he suggested. You looked at the clock on your computer screen. It was already three in the afternoon. You didn’t think your boss Rupert would mind if you left earlier today.

“Yeah, sure. Where?”, you accepted and started to collect your things. “I’ll text you the address, see you there”, he said and you two hung up. You turned off your computer and put on your coat. Just a second later, Ben had texted you an address not that far away from your office. Since you had an hour until he wanted to meet up, you decided to walk there. On your way, you bought yourself a snack as you experienced one of the few short windows where your stomach allowed you to eat. You prayed you would keep the food in until your body had at least processed some of it.

A little while later, you got to the address where you would meet up with Ben. You found him across the street, waiting outside an office building, smoking a cigarette and looking at his phone. As you came closer, he looked up like he had heard you coming, which was impossible because of the loud traffic. You smiled at him shyly and waved from afar. He threw the cigarette on the ground and put it out with his foot. He waved back, looking nervous. Just as you were about to cross the street you stopped in your step. Ben furrowed his brows at you. You held up your hand to signal him to wait for a second, turned to your right and threw up into a litter box.

Ben came running over and arrived just as you had finished. “God, Y/N, are you okay?”, he asked a little shocked and pulled out a tissue. “Oh, don’t worry, that happens A LOT”, you said and spit one last time before you took the tissue from him and wiped your mouth. You grabbed the water bottle out of your bag that had become a constant companion of yours and took a sip to clean your mouth. “You good?”, he asked again. “Oh yeah, almost gotten used to this by now”, you waved it off.

“Okay, where are we? Why are we meeting here?”, you asked and straightened your back. Ben looked all nervous again and buried his hands in his coat. “This, uhm, this is the office of my agency”, he told you and pulled up his shoulders.

“And you brought me here why?”, you asked, not fully understanding why you were here. “My agent wanted…we wanted to talk to you…about, uhm…the baby”, he came closer for the last part and almost whispered the words. Only slowly they sunk into your brain and as soon as you realized what he had just said, you looked at him with big eyes. You also smelled the cigarette on his breath which made you nauseous again.

“You told your agent?”, you almost shouted but toned it down mid-sentence. You didn’t want to cause him a scene, but you would love to slap him. “I didn’t mean to, but he called me when I left your flat and it kind of slipped out. I’m sorry”, he explained. “And why does he want to see me?”, you asked, crossing your arms in front of your body. “Can we talk inside? It’s really cold”, he said and gestured towards the big office building. You didn’t want to, but you had to admit it was cold and you felt a bit dizzy after throwing up.

You turned on your heel and started walking. Ben caught up with you and wanted to put his hand on your back, but you shook it off. You were mad at him. You gave him the permission to tell one person about the baby and of all people, he told his agent. You haven’t even told your parents yet.

“You can’t do this around me anymore, you know?”, you said while you both waited at the right light to cross the street. “What?”, he asked. “Smoking, you know? It’s bad for the baby. And I always hated it”, you told him off while you stared at the crosswalk light on the other side of the road. “You used to smoke too”, he reminded you. “And I stopped long before I was pregnant”, you countered and crossed your arms in front of your chest. Instead of a reply, you just heard Ben exhaling loudly, sounding a bit annoyed. As soon as the light switched to green, you marched forward with big steps towards the entrance of the office building.

He held the door open for you. You were glad about the warmth inside and rubbed your cold hands together. “Ben Hardy for Peter Brooks”, he said to the lady at the reception. She made a call while you stood a bit away from Ben, still mad at him. You looked around the lobby. A lot of people in suits walked in and out of the building, talking on their phone or writing an e-mail. Everybody looked so busy.

“You can go right up, he’s waiting for you”, the lady told him and Ben gestured towards the elevators. You started walking and just as you two came to one, the doors opened and you stepped in. Ben pressed the button and a second later, you moved upwards. “Y/N, can we please…”, he began. “Nope, still mad”, you interrupted him and stared at the digital numbers counting up the floors.

With a PING, the doors opened and you two stepped out. Ben led the way to his agent’s office. He knocked on the door and after a moment he just walked in. “Hello Ben, good to see you”, a bald man came around a big table and shook Ben’s hand. You hesitated for a moment and then walked in. In a way, you were curious what Ben’s agent could want from you. But you were determined to show everybody that you were here against your will.

“And this must be Y/N, nice to meet you”, Peter extended his hand to you. You shook it hesitantly. “Mh-hm”, you just acknowledged. You still needed to figure out if it was nice to meet him too. “I think gratulations are in order”, Peter smiled at you brightly and it made you a bit suspicious. “Thanks”, you said in a blank tone.

“Please, you two, sit down”, he gestured towards a little sofa group at the other end of his office. Ben helped you out of your coat and took his off too before you two sat down next to each other on the sofa. Peter sat down across from you in a big chair.

“Do you need anything? Coffee maybe?”, Peter offered. “Can’t, the baby”, you told him. “Yes, of course, of course. Tea, water?”, he kept listing beverages. “A water would be nice, thank you”, you agreed. You might be angry at both of them, but you still had your manners. Peter got up, pressed a button on his phone and forwarded your drink order to his secretary.

“So, Y/N, I don’t know how much Ben has already told you…about why we’re meeting today”, Peter began and his eyes shot over to Ben, who had been really quiet the past few minutes. “Nothing, really. As I have no aspiration to start acting, I don’t really know why I’m here, frankly”, you told him and your voice oozed with resentment.

“As Ben’s agent, I’m a bit concerned as to how it might look that you and Ben are having a baby when you are not a couple”, Peter said slowly as if he was choosing his words very carefully. Well, he should have chosen more wisely.

“Excuse me?”, you said and your eyebrows almost touched your hairline. “In what way is my baby and its father any of your concern?”, you asked him and furrowed your brows at him. Peter lightly smiled at you like you were too stupid to understand what he was trying to say. Boy, this man was off to a bad start.

“As his agent, Ben is my concern. And a baby with someone who is not his girlfriend, I don’t have to tell you how this looks. And what the press would do with it”, Ben’s agent told you. “Do you care to join in?”, you turned to Ben, an angry look on your face. At least, he had the decency to pull his head in.

“Y/N, what Peter is trying to say, uhm, we want to find a way to protect you and the baby from the press and get in front of everything ahead of time”, Ben finally chimed in and Peter nodded accordingly. “Exactly! We want to control the situation”, Peter added.

“The only one who controls anything is me as the situation is inside MY body”, you clapped back at them. Right at that moment, the door opened and a young girl, maybe an intern, brought a tray of water glasses. She left just a second later, but not before giving Ben a little longing side-look. You were used to this by now. Everywhere you appeared with Ben, the girls were all over him. But you had other things to deal with right now.

“Listen, I can see that you’re mad. It’s not that I want to tell you what you should do with your baby”, Peter tried to explain. “Good, because you’ve got no voice in this”, you told him and took a sip of your water. Your throat was dry from all the anger.

“We want to find a solution that everybody is happy with. We need to work together on this”, Ben’s agent continued. You couldn’t shake the feeling that he was trying to sell you on something. “I would be very happy if this conversation would come to an end”, you said and folded your hands in your lap. You were surprised how strong your voice sounded. And then you realized, you didn’t just talk as Y/N, you spoke up as a mother.

Peter sighed defeated. He understood that he wouldn’t be the one to get through to you. He wasn’t a bad guy, this was purely a business decision. Ben and you had to find a solution that worked for the both of you and Peter could see that there was much talking to be done that didn’t include him.

The agent ended the talk and you put on your coat again. When you left the office, Peter held Ben back. “It’s obvious she won’t listen to me. You have to talk to her, get her to work with us. You know what we talked about, get her on board”, he told his protegee and bid goodbye with a handshake.

Ben caught up with you at the elevators. As soon as you had pressed the button for the lobby and the doors had closed behind you, you turned to Ben. If looks could kill….

“I can’t believe that you dragged me here!”, you burst out at him. “Is that your stupid way of telling me that you don’t want anything to do with this baby?”, you almost screamed at him. “Y/N, please, listen…”, just at that moment, the doors slid open and you stormed out. You got so worked up about this that you felt sick again. Before you could run outside, you threw up into the big pot plant next to the door. The lady at the reception looked at you shocked. “Sorry about the plant”, you just wiped your mouth and stormed out.

Ben was right behind you. “Y/N, wait! Can we please talk? Let me explain”, he held you back by your arm. “Why can’t you just say yes or no, Ben?”, you said as you stopped and turned around to face him. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes. You felt so tired of it all already.

“You know it’s not that easy. I had barely time to think about it and it’s a big decision”, Ben told you. “Well, the decision was kind of taken from me. I had no time to think about it. This is happening. It’s as crazy as it gets”, you concluded, feeling the tears falling onto your cheeks and down to your scarf.

Ben didn’t say anything, he just pulled you into a tight hug. You loved the short moment of feeling save and secure as his arms were wrapped around you. “Let’s go for a walk and talk this agent-thing through, okay?”, he ended the hug way too early.

You nodded as you wiped your nose with the sleeve of your coat. You went over to a nearby park and started walking in silence. After a few minutes, you took a deep breath before you looked at him.

“Okay, I will at least listen to what you and your crazy agent have thought of. I’m not saying I’m on board”, you set the base for “the negotiations”.

Ben then talked about how it was no secret to the fans and the press that you two were best friends. Both of your Instagram feeds were proof enough. You hung out together a lot, either with his friends or just the two of you. As your belly would grow, it wouldn’t soon be possible to hide the fact that you were pregnant. Should a reporter ask him directly if he was the father, he would deny it and say he’s just a supportive friend. Especially since he was still figuring out if he wanted to be involved or not. You had to accept that your situation was already messy enough and also realized that you would prefer it if the press wasn’t meddling in your private life.

He talked some more about how all of this was just to protect you from the media and also the fans and it was not a way for Ben to tell you he wasn’t in. You finally believed him as it were only a few days since you had told him and you knew he needed more time. He wasn’t someone who made big decisions like this from one moment to the other. And you had told him that you expected nothing from him, so you sure as hell couldn’t expect a committed answer after just a few days.

“Alright, I’m in. You can tell your creep of an agent that I won’t tell the press that you’re the father of my baby”, you finally complied. It wasn’t like you would have done it anyways, but now you would at least be very careful not to mention Ben in combination with the baby to anyone you didn’t know. “In interviews, when directly asked, you can tell them that you’re not the father, they have no right to know. Just don’t say that I’m like a sister to you or something. One day it WILL come out and then you’ll look very creepy when they find out you have a baby with your ‘sister’”, you told him and made quotation marks in the air with your fingers. Ben looked relieved and thankful. He even managed to chuckle at your joke.

He brought you over to the next taxi stand and paid for your ride home after agreeing that you would talk soon.

On your way home, you knew it was time to finally tell your parents that you were pregnant. You had no idea how they would react. You knew they would be happy for you as they knew how much you wanted a child. They knew Ben from several occasions as you have been friends for a long time by now. He had even invited your mom to the set of EastEnders as she was a huge fan of the show.

Since you were an only child, they even would be happy to finally become grandparents. They made some hints when you were still with Aiden. Well, it had worked out in some kind of way.

After you had thrown up into pretty much every pot plant and bucket in your office, you didn’t need to make an appointment with your boss anymore. One Tuesday morning, he called you into his office. He closed the door behind him and pointed at the chair in front of his desk. He sat down in his seat and put his hands together at his chin, sort of a thinker-pose. You were nervously pulling at your fingers in your lap. Your tummy felt twisty, but you tried to breathe it away.

“So, Y/N. I’ve noticed over the past couple of weeks you haven’t really been yourself. Is anything up with you? Are you…unwell?”, your boss asked you, tiptoeing around certain areas, being careful in his choice of words. Lawsuits happened so easy these days.

He literally laid down the pavement, you just had to walk over it. “Well, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. You just have been quicker than me”, you joked and smiled lightly. Your boss looked at you with a stern look, almost like he was anticipating the worst. You took a deep breath.

“Rupert, I’m pregnant”, you finally told him and it was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, but you still held your breath in anticipation.

“Oh thank god! I honestly thought it was cancer. What a relief!”, he blurted out and fell back in his chair, exhaling loudly. “Nope, just pregnant”, you said, not sure if you should laugh with him. “Well, congrats to you and, what was his name? He was at our last Christmas party with you, right? God, you know how I am with names. Andrew, Ian…”, he snapped along to his words, trying to jog his memory. You knew you could easily correct him, but what was the option here? Telling your boss that you got pregnant after a one-night-stand? Surely not!

“Aiden, yes. We’re…very happy”, you simply stated and hoped you wouldn’t burn in hell for this lie. You surely had the red face to prove it. But also, Ben’s agent made him say he was not the father, so what was the harm here anyway?

You and Rupert agreed on a leave of absence from when you’re in your thirty-second week of pregnancy and a provisional return when the baby is one year old. You were still able to come back and renegotiate if you want to extend your maternity leave up to two years or even come back earlier. You would figure it out when you had the baby and got an idea of how a daily routine with a baby actually looked like.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have your first check up and first ultrasound. Ben’s coming with you and you both see your baby for the first time.  
It’s also time to tell people and together to tell the BoRhap group the unexpected news…

Soon after you had broken the news of your pregnancy to your boss it was already time for your twelfth-week-check-up and your first ultrasound. You couldn’t believe it was already the end of your first trimester. Ben joined you for your doctor’s appointment which wasn’t such a sure thing in the beginning. You had called him about a week before the appointment, asking him if he wanted to come along.

“It would be the first time that we would see the baby. We might even find out if it’s a boy or a girl”, you told him over the phone, trying to persuade him to come along, even if you didn’t know what would be persuasive in this kind of situation. “Yeah, uhm, I’ll have to check my schedule. I’ll let you know, okay?”, he said and quickly ended the call. You were a bit taken aback by how brief he was with you, almost a bit rough.

The next time you heard from him was actually the morning of the doctor’s appointment. You had a feeling his mother has had a good talk with him. Now he was sitting next to you in the waiting area, jiggling his foot. It was clear that he was nervous.

He hadn’t given you an answer about the whole commitment thing yet and you didn’t want to pressure him. You didn’t want to do this alone, you wanted him in this with you and you saw it as a good sign that he had actually come today.

Ben tapped his fingers on the armrest of his seat in the doctor’s waiting area and it drove you crazy. “Ben, please”, you put your hand over his. “Sorry”, he said and leaned forwards, putting his elbows on his knees. You needed something to distract the both of you. You pulled out your phone and opened this new app you were using to track your pregnancy.

“According to my new app, we’re having a lime”, you told him after you pulled up the fruit comparison of week twelve. “Huh?”, Ben looked up at you, clearly not understanding what you’re talking about. “Here, I’ll show you”, you said and he sat up.

You explained to him how the app worked and how it compared the size of your baby to fruit for better imagination. You both scrolled through the app until your name was called and you went to one of the examination rooms.

The doctor greeted you with a smile. “And you must be the father, welcome”, she shook Bens hand, who was visibly nervous. The first part of the appointment was a chat between you and the doctor talking about your nausea. It had gotten better since you have completed your twelfth week which was about three days ago. The doctor told you it should be uphill from now on. She knew a lot of mothers that were sick like you for the first trimester and almost the second they hit the second trimester, it stopped completely.

“Now let’s have a look at the little bean”, the doctor said and got up from her chair. She led you over to the little bed. “It’s actually a lime now”, you corrected her with a smile. “Oh, so you’ve got the app?”, she acknowledged with a knowing smile. “Pretty much every woman that comes in here has that app on their phone”, she told you and prepared the ultrasound.

You put your sweater up and the waistband of your pants down so the belly was free. The doctor gave Ben a chair to sit next to you and together you all watched the little screen of the ultrasound as she moved the little handle of the machine over your stomach. “And there we have it”, the doctor said after a few moments.

Ben’s eyes were glued to the little screen as were yours. Your baby already looked like a little person. The doctor checked if she could see the sex but the baby had turned its back to you and you weren’t able to see anything.

“Now let’s listen in on the little lime”, the doctor commented with a wink and the next moment she turned up the volume of the machine. As soon as you heard the rapid sounds of the heartbeat, it was over with you. Your hand shot up covering your mouth, tears streaming down your face. Hearing the heartbeat made it oh so more real for you. Without thinking about it, you reached down and looked for Ben’s hand. He interlaced his fingers with yours and squeezed it tightly. He was just as captivated by the sound of your baby as you were. It sounded like a horse on a race track.

The doctor recorded a little part of the ultrasound and let it play on repeat with sound and gave you and Ben a few minutes to admire your baby on screen. Ben had tears in his eyes as well which he tried to wipe away without you seeing, but you did.

If he was honest, this experienced only made it real for him. It was the first time that he actually fully realized that you were pregnant, that a person would come out of you in a few months that was partially him. He was glad he was already sitting down. He recorded the little video and sound with his phone. He would watch it again tonight in bed, not getting enough of the fast heartbeat that matched his own at the moment.

When you’re about thirteen weeks along, it was time to tell people. Ben wanted to tell his Bohemian Rhapsody friends, but he didn’t want to do it alone. They were also your friends by now, so you were fine with it.

Ben invited Gwil to his flat on a Saturday afternoon, but he didn’t tell him what this was about. Gwil was a bit surprised when he found you there as well. It wasn’t unusual for you to hang out at Ben’s apartment, but it had sounded like Ben wanted to talk about something very serious and the fact that you were here, for what seemed like support, it made Gwil wonder if Ben might be sick.

Since he wasn’t able to tell everybody in person, Ben had arranged to skype Joe, Rami and Lucy in a conference skype call. It was about ten in the morning in New York when you called them on Ben’s laptop. You were sitting in-between Ben and Gwil on Ben’s couch, looking at the blue skype screen as the usual ringtone told you that it was trying to connect with the other side of the world.

Rami and Lucy popped up first on the screen, just a moment later the second half of the screen was filled with Joe’s face. “Hey guys”, Ben greeted them and you also put up your hand to wave. Gwil chimed in.

“Okay, what is this about. You made it sound like something big was going on and seeing not only Gwil but also Y/N there makes me kind of nervous”, Joe said as the first one to speak up. “They haven’t told me anything. I’m just as freaked out as you are”, Gwil told him and gave Ben and you the side-eye.

“Yeah, you made us really worried with your message that you needed to talk to all of us and it couldn’t be said over text or wait until we meet in person”, Lucy spoke up and Rami nodded agreeingly in the back. He looked worried, but to his excuse, he looked worried most of the time.

“If you’re sick, just tell us. We’re here for your buddy”, Joe said and Gwil nodded agreeingly. Why is everyone always expecting the worst when you tell them that you wanted to talk?, you thought to yourself.

“Alright, lads, settle down”, Ben tried to calm them down. “Oh god, I can’t take it”, Joe said and covered his face. Ben rolled his eyes at you about Joe being so dramatic. You were still surprised that Ben hasn’t told him although they had met in person a few times in last few months and texted on a daily basis.

By now you had told your parents, who were shocked of course but, as you had expected, also happy for you. And since they knew Ben, they knew he was a good guy. They were just mad at him for taking his sweet time with his decision if he wanted to be in or not. And you had told your other best friend from kindergarten, Shannon. She was over the moon as she loved babies. She was sympathetic to your situation, but all she saw was babies, babies, babies and couldn’t wait to carry and cuddle your baby all day long. Her words, not yours.

While you were in thoughts, a heated discussion about what could be up with Ben and how they would help him and what he should do had developed on screen and next to you. Ben had his problems being heard.

“Guys, hey, guys! Shut the hell up, we’re trying to tell you something”, Ben shouted at the screen. The word we made their ears prick up and everybody looked at you with anticipation.

“Y/N is pregnant”, Ben finally said. “And Ben’s the father”, you added. There were so many shocked faces around you, you almost lost track. “Since when are you two a couple?”, Lucy was the first to find her voice again. ”Are you joking?!”, Joe blurted out at the same time. “We’re not”, Ben clarified and looked at Lucy, then Joe. “How long is this going on?”, Joe asked. “According to the sonogram, almost 13 weeks”, you answered. “No, I mean you two boning”, Joe rolled his eyes. “It was just one time”, Ben explained. “One hit, one goal”, Gwil commented. “Wait a second, 13 weeks?!”, Joe called out. “We’ve seen each other several times in person in that time and you didn’t tell me?”, he looked directly at Ben. “She didn’t let me”, Ben pointed at you. “You’re not supposed to tell people before the twelfth week, it’s bad luck”, Lucy chimed in. “Exactly”, you nodded agreeingly.

“Are you getting married now?”, Rami joined in. “What century are you from? No, we’re not getting married”, you pulled a face at him through the laptop camera. “And do you already know what you’re having?”, Lucy asked. You were thankful for the slight change of topic. “No, not yet. At the last sonogram he or she was a bit shy and only showed us their back”, you smiled at the camera. “But how is this going to work? Are you living together, are you a single-mom now?”, Joe kept asking. “Would love to know that too”, Gwil joined in.

You looked over at Ben. You haven’t talked about how you wanted to play this in front of his friends. You didn’t want him to be pressured into saying yes.

“Guys, listen. We’re going to find a way. The good thing is we’re friends, best friends actually”, you told them. “That hurts but okay. Continue”, Joe interrupted you. “AND we will support each other in one way or another”, you said towards the laptop. “Yes, exactly. We want as few drama as possible”, Ben chimed in and, out of view of the laptop camera and Gwilym’s eyes, he took your hand and squeezed it lightly. You looked over at him and gave him a hopeful smile.

You heard Joe huffing and rolling his eyes. “Oh, there’s gonna be drama, believe me”, he said and crossed his arms. “With your attitude, you put yourself way behind in the ranking for godfather, mister”, you scolded him as your eyes darted back at the screen. “Wait, what?”, Joe sounded surprised. “Hey, how come it’s already decided when we haven’t even gotten the chance to compete for it?”, Gwil asked. “No, the ranking is wide open. Shower us with gifts and compliments. Considerations are still open”, Ben winked and patted Gwil’s back.

“Y/N, are you happy?”, Lucy asked and shut everybody up. “Yes, very happy. I wanted a baby for so long and the universe gave me one, doesn’t matter the circumstances”, you said and felt yourself tearing up. You put your hand on your belly. “Then we’re all happy for you. Congratulations!”, she said and cheered for you on the other end of the planet. “Yes, we’re happy for you, Y/N. And for Ben too, of course”, Rami added. “Yes, sorry. Of course we’re happy for you guys, it’s just…a lot to process”, Joe said. “You don’t have to tell us”, you said and looked at Ben, who gave you a reassuring smile. “Do you have any ultrasound pictures?”, Lucy asked. “Yes, of course. Just a second”, you said and stood up. You shuffled over to your purse and took out the sonogram pictures. You gave one to Gwil, who was craning his neck with interest and held one in front of the laptop camera.

“Oh my god, this is already a little person”, you heard Lucy, who had put her hands over her mouth in excitement. “It’s crazy, right? You can see the arms and legs and here’s the head. Even the nose, right there”, you said and pointed at the little bump. “This is the cutest nose I’ve ever seen, I swear to god”, Lucy squealed.

“That’s crazy, mate. Between Rami and Lucy and Dana and I being engaged and Joe hunting down every girl he gets the chance to, who knew you would be the first one of us to be a dad”, Gwil said and looked up from the sonogram. Ben blushed a bit. “It was a happy mistake, I guess”, he said and shrugged his shoulders.

He was right, that’s exactly what this was. It was a mistake, but you couldn’t be happier that it happened. Of course it would be hard doing this alone, but you had your family and you were sure, even if Ben wasn’t at the moment, he would be a big part of the babies life, one way or another. He was her or his dad and that would never change.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your belly almost grew over night and you need to go shopping for maternity clothes. It’s also time to announce your pregnancy over instagram as you’re tired of hiding it.  
Ben picks you up at your flat to watch football with his friends and he helps you taking a good picture for instagram…

Almost over night, your belly seemed to expand rapidly and you actually started showing. Side-effect, you didn’t fit in your normal jeans and most of your tops didn’t cover your belly anymore. You took a well needed vacation day and decided to go shopping.

Gladly, H&M had a great maternity corner where you were able to enquire some new pairs of jeans with a very elastic waistband that would grow with your belly, a white linen dress for summer and some loose shirts. The dress was a bit too big for you at the moment, but you were sure you would grow into it in no time.

As you browsed through the store, you ended up in the lingerie section. Another side-effect of the pregnancy, your boobs have become significantly bigger which meant you needed new bras. As you tried them on in the fitting room, you just realized how much your belly and your boobs have grown over the past few weeks, it was crazy.

For a second, you contemplated with the idea of taking a picture of you and sending it to Ben, almost as a joke. Ever since your nausea had stopped, your whole had pregnancy changed. You felt better by the day and hungrier. You were constantly hungry. And horny. Oh my god, you had never been that horny in your life!

You even googled it because you were afraid that something was wrong with you, but as it turned out, it wasn’t unusual for a pregnant woman to be hornier than usual for all sorts of hormonal changes in her system. But normally, when pregnant you would have a partner to act it out with.

You on the other hand had to take care of yourself. You didn’t dare to bring it up with your best friend Shannon, let alone Ben. So, you literally rode your vibrator pretty hard over the course of many lonely nights. So much that yours had actually broken and you needed to get a new one quickly in order not to go crazy.

You found yourself thinking of Ben more and more when finding some self-inflicted relief. You didn’t know if it was because he was the father of the baby, which gave him a new role in your life, or if you had found him stupidly hot ever since you’ve met him and had just buried it deep in a corner of your brain until now. Anyway, it wasn’t like you could act on it. You and Ben were still in a weird place. He hasn’t said anything hinting at his decision. He didn’t come around as often, but you excused it with his loaded work schedule. Also, you didn’t want to believe that this was his way of telling you his decision. Because when he was with you for movie night, lunch or any sort of get together, he wasn’t any different with you than before.

Since pretty much everybody in the office now knew that you were pregnant and you were well over the twelfth week, you thought you would make it official and post a sort of announcement picture on your Instagram. But you wanted to make it creative and needed to come up with a fun way to say, “hey, I got knocked up”.

You had the perfect idea when you went to the store for groceries and walked by some stickers and one caught your eye. “Perfect”, you said to yourself with a big smile, put it in your cart and went to the check-out. You had to hurry home and unpack the food as Ben would soon pick you up to go watch the Europe League finale with Arsenal playing. It was Ben’s favorite club and you came to love it as well over the years of going to the football stadium with him and his friends. And these were the exact people you would watch the finale with.

You were just putting finishing touches on your pony tail as your doorbell was rung. You were already wearing your Arsenal jersey and your new maternity jeans when you opened the door for Ben. “Good to go?”, he asked and smiled at you when he saw the jersey of his favorite club on you. “Almost. You just need to do me a little favor”, you said and motioned him to come inside.

“I want to put a pic of my belly on my Instagram for a little announcement”, you told him and handed him your phone. “And I need your help for the picture. I tried it alone, but I couldn’t get the right angle”, you explained to him and noticed how nervous he looked. “What?”, you asked him. “Do you think this is a good idea?”, he asked you but took the phone anyways. “I’m just saying I’m expecting. I didn’t ask you to pose for a family portrait, you just need to take the damn picture”, you told him and couldn’t suppress the annoyed tone in your voice. You thought that he would react this way.

“Do you really want to announce your pregnancy? Everybody will ask who the father is and then you have to tell them you and Aiden broke up. And then?”, Ben asked, putting his hands on his hips. “Are you trying to shame me for getting pregnant by a one-night-stand?”, you asked in disbelief. “No, Y/N, listen…”, he started but you interrupted him. “No, Ben, I AM listening and that is what you’re saying. A one-night-stand I had with YOU if you remember”, you scolded him. “Y/N, please”, he plead but you put your hand up to silence him. “Just shut up and take the damn picture so we can go”, you told him and moved over to your sideboard where you had placed the sticker.

You picked it up and started to peel off one of the corners and it took you a few tries. In that time, Ben came over to you and wrapped his arms around you from behind. “I’m sorry, Y/N. You can announce anything you want. It’s your choice”, he apologized and pressed a kiss on your hair. You took a deep breath to calm down and leaned against him. Ben’s hands wandered down to your belly and softly caressed it over the shirt. You closed your eyes for a moment and enjoyed the moment before Ben ended it way too soon.

“So, what do you have in mind for your announcement picture?”, he asked and took a step back. “I will put this sticker on my belly and you’ll take a close up of my middle. I didn’t put on any make-up so I don’t want my face in the picture”, you told him while you continued trying to peel off the sticker. You finally managed and stepped in front of the mirror. “Uhm, can you lift my shirt up, I need both hands to put it on”, you turned around to Ben.

He came over and almost hesitantly lifted your jersey over your belly and held it up there while you held the sticker directly over your belly button. “Here, right in the middle or above my belly button? What do you think?”, you asked him, looking at the sticker in your hand through the mirror, moving your hands around with it to show him the alternatives. “Seriously? A ‘Baby On Board’ sticker?”, Ben chuckled. “It’s right on the nose”, you joked with a wink. “So, where should I put it?”, you asked him again. “I don’t know. Middle sounds good”, he shrugged his shoulders while he still held up your shirt.

“Alright, middle it is”, you said and concentrated on your reflection as you placed the sticker on your skin. You smoothed out the little wave in the corner and then looked at it with your hands hanging down your sides. “Looks alright”, you tilted your head as you assessed your work. “Okay, picture time”, you clapped your hands once and Ben let go of your shirt.

You stood in front of an empty part of your white walls and draped the shirt under your boobs to reveal your belly and the sticker. Ben took a few pictures directly from in front of you and a few a bit from the side. You ended up posting one of each, putting the one where you could see the sticker the best as the first picture. You posted it with the caption “The sticker says it all. Thanks for the photoshoot @benhardy” and put your phone in your purse. “Okay, let’s go. We got a game to watch”, you said and patted his chest when you walked by him.

In the car on the way to Andy, you tried to peel the sticker off your belly. “Shit, that hurts”, you hissed as you pulled at a corner and ripped out a few of the hair on your skin. “What did you expect? This stuff normally goes on a car”, Ben chuckled in the driver’s seat. After a few minutes you gave up. “That’s it, I’m going to die with this sticker on me. I will learn to live with it”, you huffed out loud and dropped your hand in your lap. “Let me give it a try when we parked at Andy’s”, Ben said and with that he entered the street of Andy’s apartment. He parked the car and you two got out.

“Okay, let me give it a go”, he said as he came around the car and handed you the six-pack of beer he had brought for him and the guys. He lifted your shirt just enough to have full access to the sticker. “Be careful, there’s a baby on board”, you joked but scrunched your nose as he started pulling on the edge and it hurt again. “I know, you signposted it pretty well”, Ben looked up at you and gave you a sarcastic look. “Yeah, yeah”, you shook your head and rolled your eyes. Ben tried for a few minutes and your skin was red from the irritation. “Owowowowowow”, you whined as he pulled a bit stronger and squinted your eyes. “Sorry”, he said and caressed your skin with his fingertips to calm it down. You didn’t want to but you bit your lower lip as something inside you tingled at his touch.

“Maybe Andy has some rubbing alcohol, that should work”, he said and stood up straight again. You handed him back the beer and together you finally walked into the building.

It was the typical football gang of you, Ben, Andy and two other guys, Johnny and Dave. You haven’t seen all of them in ages and so they didn’t know that you were pregnant. The jersey you wore actually highlighted your belly and you thought all of their eyes would pop out when you walked through the door behind Ben and they saw your belly for the first time. It took you a few minutes to calm them down, but you didn’t tell them that Ben was the father. Then you would never hear the end of it even if their precious Arsenal was playing.

In the break, you checked your phone as you went to the toilet. You got a lot of likes and of course the fans had started speculating if Ben might be involved, but not as much as you had feared. For all they knew, you still had a boyfriend and why wouldn’t your best friend take a picture of your belly for you?

But you also found an e-mail of his manager saying, “Mentioning him is not really keeping it on the down low”. You clenched your teeth in anger as this jerk got involved again. You hit the answer button and wrote that you weren’t tagging him to say he was the father, you actually mentioned it in no way. The reply came immediately that he was not pleased with your explanation. You exhaled out loud and finished your business in the toilet. You went back to the living room and sat back down next to Ben. “You need to tell your agent to calm his tits. He’s totally freaking out that I mentioned you in my Instagram announcement and I don’t have the nerves nor the will to deal with this”, you told him and at the same time grabbed the bowl of chips. As Dave reached over to put his hand into the bowl you actually growled at him and he immediately pulled his hand back.

After the game, Ben tried again to get the sticker off your belly. He dabbed your skin with a Q-tip drenched in alcohol and slowly peeled it off. It still hurt like hell but he managed to actually get it off you. “Thanks”, you sighed revealed and rubbed over the red skin. “Let me see”, he said and gently pushed away your hand to inspect your skin. You looked down at his head, completely frozen. He was so close to your bare skin you could actually feel his breath on you.

You bit down on your bottom lip and resisted the urge to run your fingers through his hair. When Ben stood up, he was so close, you had to tilt your head to look him in the eyes. “All good”, he said and his voice was so low you had almost trouble understanding him. “Thanks”, you mumbled and swallowed hard.

You noticed that his eyes wandered down to your chest and back up again. “Did your boobs get bigger?”, he asked with a light chuckle in his voice. His eyes were glued to yours. “One of the pros of being pregnant”, you told him and gave him, what you thought was, a flirty smile. “And what are the others?”, he asked and you felt like he was flirting with you as well. “Wouldn’t you like to know? Try googling it and let me know what you think”, you told him and thought of how horny you were right now.

Images of your night together flashed behind your eyes and you could swear Ben thought of it too when you looked at his face. He licked his lips and only now you realized that his hands were of your hips, his fingers touching the still bare skin of your belly.

Just as you leaned towards Ben, Andy came into the kitchen to get another beer and the moment was gone.

When Ben drove you home that night, you two didn’t speak at all. Both of you seemed to be in thoughts. When you got out of the car in front of your building, you just thanked him for driving you home and rushed up to your flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve decided to put this story on hiatus for a little while. I haven’t written anything new for the story since I started posting it   
which is so weird because I know where I want to go with this story, I’ve got it all mapped out and still I’m not able to actually write it.
> 
> I’m planning to start posting again on December 1st. I’ll update you if anything changes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have your second check-up at the doctors office and you finally find out the gender of the baby…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as promised, here is the new chapter on December 1st. But I have to confess that I barely scraped that together just in time. I hope to post my next update in 2 weeks.  
Hope you like it!

You couldn’t believe it was already time for your next check-up at the doctor’s office. Sadly, Ben wasn’t able to come this time because he was booked to appear at the Zegna Fashion show in Milan. “All alone today?”, your doctor asked when you came in. You bit down on your bottom lip not to say “Always”. Instead you put on a brave smile and told her that Ben had to work out of town, which wasn’t even a lie.

You got onto the bed and pulled your shirt up. Your belly had gotten pretty round by now. The doctor put the gel on your stomach and looked around with the head of the ultrasound. “Any chance we find out the sex of the baby today?”, you asked hopefully. You needed to know, you were going crazy.

“Yeah, it looks good today. No hiding from us today”, the doctor told you with a smile. “Oh, is it possible that I face-time Ben so we can find out together?”, you asked. “Of course”, she nodded approvingly and handed you your purse which you had forgotten at her desk. You pulled out your phone and dialed Ben’s number. You had texted him the time you would have your appointment and he promised he would make time for it. He was just as eager to find out what you’re having.

Lately, you were having trouble to catch ahold of Ben. Whenever you call him, he didn’t pick up and when he called you back, it was very late or in the middle of the night, so you were asleep. You’ve been mostly communicating via text.

It was very confusing to you at times. On one hand, he wouldn’t give you an answer if he wanted to be in or not, but on the other hand, you talked about the baby and your pregnancy when you were spending time together, he asked you what was in the app on certain days and he even had talked to your belly once.

It rang for a long time before he finally picked up. “Hey, are you at the doctor’s?”, he immediately asked and you saw him walking down a hotel hallway. “Yes, we just started the ultrasound. She said, we might actually find out what we’re having today. No hide and seek today”, you told him the good news. “Is it a good time?”, you asked as he didn’t answer right away. “No, no, it’s good, I’m just on my way to my hotel room for some privacy”, he told you and almost sounded a bit out of breath.

You shot the doctor an apologetic smile as you kept her waiting. A few moments later, Ben finally gave you the green light.

“Alright, let’s do this. Let’s find out if it’s a girl or a boy”, you said and nodded at the physician. She continued with the ultrasound and moved the head of the machine over your belly. “Any particular gender you’re hoping for?”, she asked you. “Just hoping for healthy”, Ben said over the phone. You held him in the direction of the screen so he was able to the everything at the same time as you did.

“If I’m honest, I’m hoping for a girl”, you confessed and felt a little bad. “But either way, healthy is the only really important thing”, you quickly added. “And what about you daddy? Everybody has their preference. Don’t be shy”, the doctor asked and smiled at him through the phone. “Well, if we’re honest, I’m always picturing a girl”, he said. For some reason, his words brought tears to your eyes. Just the little confirmation that he was “always picturing” meant that he was keeping the baby in his mind, thinking about it. You weren’t sure from time to time if he had just forgotten about the baby because he was so busy with his career and his own life.

“Well, then I think I got…”, the doctor said and moved the head of the ultrasound a little to the side and tilted her head as she looked at the screen. The grip around your phone got tighter as the air got heavier with anticipation. “…good news for you. Everything points to a little baby girl”, she finally finished her sentence.

“Oh my god, a girl”, you exhaled loudly. “Ben, did you hear? We’re having a girl”, you said and turned the phone to look at the screen. Ben looked shocked, but happy. “A girl”, he said and the corners of his mouth curled upwards. Your vision got blinded by your tears. You wished Ben was here and he could hold your hand like last time.

And suddenly it hit you that this was only the first of probably many moments concerning your child that Ben wouldn’t be here to witness in person. That you would have no one to share her first steps with, her first words, her first everything.

And all of a sudden, the happy tears turned into sad and lonely tears.

“You alright there, mommy?”, the doctor asked you and snapped you out of your thoughts. “Y/N, is anything wrong?”, you heard Ben’s voice through the phone. “J-Just overwhelmed, that’s all”, you quickly said and wiped your face with your free hand.

About a week later, you lay in your bed at night, scrolling through Instagram. Ben had been gone all week, heading from one fashion show to another. He really looked like he belonged there. You on the other hand got rounder and rounder, by the minute it seemed. Yesterday was the first time you actually, clearly felt the baby kick and you actually freaked out. You immediately dialed Ben’s number, but he didn’t pick up. You wanted to call him again right away, but something stopped you. What would it change if he knew? It wasn’t like he would jump on the next plane to come home. You weren’t even sure you could feel it from the outside. Instead, you rang your parents and texted Shannon. All of them were equally excited and it made you feel better.

You checked Ben’s tag on Instagram and found pictures from the Balmain fashion show. You sighed deeply. He looked really good. “I know you can’t see it right now, but your daddy is very handsome. I hope you take after him. But if I ever catch you with a cigarette in your mouth, hell will rain down on you. I hate that habit of his. Maybe you’re able to convince him to stop”, you said and rubbed over your belly. The baby kicked again like she understood what you had said and your heart fluttered with joy. You just couldn’t get used to that feeling.

You looked through some more pictures of Ben as fans had uploaded a lot by now and you also came across some older ones. He really was stupidly hot and it didn’t help that you still seemed to be in the “constant horny”-phase.

Your hand wandered under your shirt and your finger found your nipple, which was highly sensitive now. You started rubbing and pinching it slightly. You hissed at the feeling and licked your lips.

Your mind shot back to the night you had spent with Ben. How his lips had felt on yours and how his fingers had felt on your skin. You might have been drunk, very drunk that night, but the images and the feelings had burnt themselves in your brain. You wouldn’t ever be able to forget that night. And now you let the night replay in your head as your hand wandered further down.

It was almost the end of June when Rami and Lucy came to London to celebrate the birthday of Lucy’s sister, but they couldn’t pass up a chance to meet you and your belly.

“Oh my god, you’ve gotten so big!”, Lucy called out when you came up to them in the little café. She gave you a tight hug, but was careful of your belly. Rami hugged you too and you sat down right next to Lucy. “It’s so great to see this in person after all the pictures”, Lucy was captivated by your belly and kept touching and rubbing it. After you had told the Bohemian Rhapsody gang that you were pregnant, you had all kept in touch on a more regular basis. Especially with Lucy. You had been texting and sending her pictures of your growing belly.

“What fruit are we at today?”, she asked as you had also updated her on the fruit-comparison-situation. “As of two days ago, I have a mango inside me”, you announced and you both pull a face. “That sounded weird”, she said. “Yes, I heard it as soon as I said it”, you agreed and you both started laughing. “Anyway, hello little mango”, Lucy said as she leaned down to your belly and gently rubbed it.

“I wanted to wait until I saw you guys in person to tell you”, you announced and both looked at you with anticipation. “I’m having a girl”, you revealed. “Oh my god! A little baby girl, I’m so excited!”, Lucy exclaimed. “A girl, wow. A little Y/N”, Rami said and gave you a big smile. “Congratulations! That’s what you were hoping for, right?”, Lucy asked and started stroking your belly again. “If I’m honest, yes. I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with raising a little boy”, you waved it off.

“God, this is all so fascinating to me”, Lucy said and was really concentrated on stroking your belly. “Is someone catching baby fever?”, Rami asked his girlfriend, wiggling his eyebrows. “Don’t Rami, we already had this conversation”, Lucy said with a stern voice all of a sudden and got up. She excused herself to go to the bathroom. You looked at Rami a bit irritated. He just shrugged his shoulders. “Touchy subject”, he mentioned. He sounded like they both had been over this a couple of times and you didn’t know Rami well enough to ask him any further although you were dying to know what he meant with “Touchy subject”.

When Lucy came back, you all acted like the little argument before hadn’t happened and you actually spent a nice afternoon before the two had to go get ready for the birthday party.

When you stepped outside the café, a few fans were waiting for Rami and he took some pictures with them. “How’s your new show coming along?”, you asked Lucy while you put on your pair of sunglasses. “Oh, we’re actually almost done. Just a few last scenes in New York next week and then it’s edit-time”, she announced with a big smile.

“Sounds awesome. I can’t wait to watch it. Everything you told me about it sounds so cool. When will it come out?”, you asked her. “End of September. The 27th, I think”, she told you and bit her lower lip as she was thinking. “Oh well, in September I’ll be home on maternity leave already so I’ll have plenty of time to watch it”, you told her as you quickly calculated your weeks until then.

“Maternity leave? Oh my god! It all happens so quickly with you”, she laughed and touched your belly again. She really loved doing that. “You tell me”, you playfully rolled your eyes. “When are you due again?”, Lucy asked you and right at that moment, Rami came back to you and rejoined your conversation. “According to plan, November 1st, but I was a bit overdue, so if she’s anything like her mama, it’ll probably be the 5th or later”, you told her and rubbed your belly with a smile.

“Doesn’t matter when you have your baby, we want constant updates. Maybe we’ll even manage to be here when she comes”, Rami said. “Oh, that would be so cool”, Lucy called out and looked really excited. “That would be awesome. Then just don’t plan on doing anything in the first two weeks of November”, you joked and didn’t think they would actually be able to be here as Rami was busy getting role after role and if Lucy’s new show would be a hit, they’d start shooting season two right after the release.

You said your goodbyes and then you walked off towards the tube to take a train home.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today’s your birthday and as usual you watch Live Aid and spend the day with Ben. This time HE got a big surprise for you…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but I’m still not fully out of my writer’s block. Also, this will be the last chapter in 2019. I wish everybody Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year. See you in 2020 with fresh, new chapters!

Like every year on your birthday, you got woken up by a phone call of your parents at 6 am because that was the time you had been born. Since this year it was a Saturday, that call came way too early for your taste and you went right back to sleep as soon as you hung up.

But your second sleep didn’t last very long as the baby was pressing on your bladder and you had to get up. You made yourself breakfast after and while you ate, you replied to some birthday wishes. You also checked your pregnancy app to see what fruit stage you were in since of yesterday you had completed 24 weeks.

The app said the baby was about the size of an eggplant. You snorted. The last time you had gotten a figurative “eggplant” was about 24 weeks ago. Since you weren’t able to live out your horny urges it seemed to all be boiling up inside you, only to come out in very inappropriate daydreaming when you were on the tube or very explicit dreams at night.

After a long and delicious birthday breakfast, you went out to do the shopping as Ben would come around later. Like every year on your birthday, you two would watch your favorite movies and eat your favorite snacks. Normally, Ben bought the snacks as sort of a birthday gift, but since you got pregnant, the things you used to love and hate to eat had shifted so much that you both decided that this year, it was safer if you would be in charge of the snacks.

It was well into the afternoon when Ben finally showed up. “Hey, stranger. I wasn’t sure if you would actually come”, you said as you hugged him as soon as he was through the door. “What? I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Not, when my favorite girl got a year older”, he said and gave you a peck on your cheek. “And is simultaneously creating my new favorite girl”, he said as he bent down to rub your belly and whisper an “Hello, little girl”.

Although it was meant to be a joke, you really weren’t sure if he would show up today. You had barely seen him in the last few weeks. And when, it was always a very short visit or just a face-time call.

“Did you watch Live Aid yet?”, he asked as he put his phone and his sunglasses on your coffee table. You had already prepared the snacks in little bowls and the beer for him was cooling in the fridge. “Not yet. I thought, this year, we’ll change it up and watch your version”, you said and held up the Bohemian Rhapsody DVD. “You know, since I was there and all…”, you said and tried to keep a cool face, but the memory alone made you smile.

“I feel honored”, Ben said and put a hand on his heart. He plopped down on the couch as you put in the DVD and turned on the TV. Just as you turned around, you caught Ben checking out your ass. “I should be offended, you know, but it’s gotten so big lately, I’m just happy someone’s still looking at it. Even if it’s just you”, you joked and he stuck out his tongue at you. “Hey, not in front of the baby”, you said and put a hand on your belly where you figured her eyes were at the moment.

You let yourself fall onto the couch next to Ben and started the concert in the DVD extras. You stretched your hand out towards the bowl of crisps on the table, clearly too far away to reach it without sitting up. You whined and wiggled your fingers towards the dish and pouted at Ben. He rolled his eyes with a playful smile and bent forward to get you the food. “Happy Birthday, Y/N”, he said as he placed the bowl in your hands. “Oh, Ben, thank you so much…for the crisps I bought with my own money”, you said with a fake smile.

“Hey, wanna see a new magic trick?”, you asked him a few moments later. “Mhm?”, he hummed as he looked away from the TV. When he had fully turned his head towards you, he found you balancing the bowl of crisps on your big belly, doing jazz-hands next to it. “Tada!”, you said out loud. Ben didn’t want to, but he had to chuckle at your stupid joke.

Then you finally concentrated on the concert. You both sang along to all the songs, joined in on the rhythm clapping to Radio Gaga and We will rock you. And at the end, you teared up to We Are The Champions like every year, but this time you were able to blame baby hormones for it.

“God, I still can’t believe that I was there”, you said as you wiped your eyes. “Have I ever thanked you for that?”, you said and looked over at Ben. “Only about a million times”, he said and his hand reached up to wipe a tear from your cheek. “And for the one millionth and first time, you’re welcome”, he said and gave you a warm smile. You felt a strong tingle in your belly and weren’t sure if it was the baby or something else.

You cleared your throat and got up. To distract you, you walked over to the kitchen to fill up the bowl of crisps. Your eyes fell on the eggplant on the counter and you had an idea for a funny Instagram update. “Hey Ben, I got an idea”, you said as you walked back into the living room, holding the eggplant. “Woah, hey, I know a pregnant woman can have some weird ‘cravings’, but there are limits to everything, woman”, he said and held up his hands in front of him. You rolled your eyes at him. “Don’t be stupid, you idiot”, you almost threw the eggplant at him.

“No. I thought since the baby is about the size of an eggplant right now, I hold it next to my belly and I put it on my Instagram”, you told him your idea. “Really? An eggplant? Isn’t that what got you into this mess?”, Ben asked with a raised eyebrow. “Oh, it’s cute that you think you come anywhere close to an eggplant”, you winked at him and got your phone from the charger. You had another few birthday messages, but ignored them for now.

“Here, you eggplant. Can you take the picture?”, you handed him your phone and walked over to the empty part of your living room wall and pulled your shirt up to free your belly. You held the eggplant next to your round, pregnant belly and Ben took a few pictures of it.

After he snapped a few shots, he handed you back your phone and you scrolled through them to find the best shot to put on Instagram. You were so concentrated, you even forgot to put your shirt back down. After a little while you caught Ben staring at you. “What?”, you asked bluntly, not very ladylike. For a second, it looked to you like Ben was blushing a little bit. “It’s weird, you know. It’s like it just hit me again that you’re pregnant. And with my baby of all. Not that I forget you’re pregnant, just…you know”, he said and stumbled a bit over his words.

“I know”, you softly said and put a hand on your belly. “Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere too”, you told him as you looked down to your hand. Now would have been the perfect moment for your baby girl to kick and let Ben feel it for the first time, but she seemed to be asleep.

Ben snapped you out of your thoughts as he cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Before I forget…”, he said and pulled an envelope from his back pocket. He came the few steps towards you. “Happy Birthday”, he said with a low voice. “Wow, crisps and an envelope? You spoil me, Jones”, you joked to clear the air of this weird moment.

“Just open it”, he rolled his eyes at you and crossed his arms in front of his chest as he had handed you the envelope. Not knowing what to expect, you opened it. You found a ticket and as soon as you had read the words, your knees felt like they were about to give in. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”, you blurted out. A big smile appeared on Ben’s face.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!”, you screamed at Ben and slapped his chest at every word. You looked down again. In your hands, you held a ticket to the men’s final at Wimbledon. You were probably the biggest tennis fan ever, especially of Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic, the two players who had qualified for the final. It had always been a dream of yours to once be able to visit a match at this famous stadium.

“So…you like it?”, Ben asked, still with a big smile on his face. “Like it?”, you slapped his chest again. “I love it!”, your voice got loud again and the next second you jumped into his arms. You flung your arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek, over and over again. “Thank you, thank you, thank you”, you said between every kiss. Ben had wrapped his arms around your upper body, padding your back. “I’m glad you like it”, he chuckled at your ecstatic state.

“Oh my god, I need to sit down”, you said, suddenly feeling dizzy. Ben ushered you over to your couch and sat down next to you. “Just a heads up, we’re not going alone. Gwil and a buddy of mine are coming with us”, he told you and handed you a glass of water. “I don’t care who comes, as long as I get to be there”, you said before taking a big sip of water. “You have no idea how hard it was to keep Gwil’s mouth shut. That guy likes to talk”, Ben mentioned.

You looked at the ticket in your hand again. “Ben, this…this is amazing. I can’t believe you did this for me”, you said and felt tears in your eyes. “I wanted to surprise you, but I didn’t want to make you cry”, he said with a chuckle as he wiped a tear off your cheek, for the second time today. “Hey, it’s not like it’s in my power right now. Those hormones have my feelings all over the place”, you countered. “I’m sure in the next few minutes you’ll do something that’ll make me mad at you again”, you pouted at him, but couldn’t hold back a smile for long.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N”, Ben said again. You looked at him and got caught in his green eyes. “You don’t know how much that means to me”, you told him. “I got a feeling”, he said and tilted his head to the side.

“Ready to watch some movies now?”, he asked. “Sounds good”, you agreed.

Ben got up to get himself a beer from the fridge. On his way, he picked up the eggplant from the coffee table. “Imma better get this out of the way if you don’t mind”, he said with a stupid grin on his face. “It’s okay, I don’t need it anymore. I’m already pregnant”, you said as you grabbed the bowl of crisps again. For a second, you startled Ben, but then you both laughed at your stupid comment.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N is finally able to live out her life long dream by watching a tennis match live at Wimbledon stadium, accompanied by Ben, Gwil and Ben’s friend James. But doing it pregnant has its challenges...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been a while and I didn’t want to post again just yet, but I thought we could all need a little something nice and cute in all that Ben-Drama or No-Drama, whatever it was for you (and every way is fine!!). I wrote this part and the next way back in November or December. I probably wouldn’t have been able to be so cheerful this week.  
So I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

On this particular Sunday in July, you woke up early, giddy and excited for the day ahead of you. The Wimbledon Men’s tennis final. You still couldn’t believe Ben got tickets for the biggest tennis event of the year and on top of all gave them to you on your birthday.

He knew what a big tennis fan you were and how long you wanted to go to this event. If he was honest to himself, and only to him, he was trying to make up for the fact that he wasn’t around that much at the moment, especially in those special times you were in.

Today, you finally got the chance to wear your white linen dress. Your belly was finally big enough to fill the extra space and the weather was perfect for it. You had to restrain from high heels as your swollen feet couldn’t bare being strapped in so tightly and you felt safer with flat sandals anyway.

Right on time, your doorbell rang. You opened the door to find Ben on your doorstep in a pink suit. "Oh god, you look like a snack", was the first thing you said with a chuckle. "Are you flirting with me, Y/N?", he joked and winked at you in a flirting way. "No, you actually look like something to eat, candy floss or something. I'm hungry now. Just a sec", you turned on your heels and walked into your kitchen to grab a Mars bar, leaving Ben at the open door. You unwrapped the treat, put it between your teeth and walked back to Ben. On the way, you grabbed your purse and sunglasses. "Ready?", he asked and chuckled. You took a bite and nodded with a big smile while you chewed. “Hi by the way”, he said and pressed a quick kiss on your hair with an arm around your shoulder as soon as you had closed the door shut behind you. You held your arm out that was holding the candy bar to not stain his or your outfit.

"Why the pink though? Not that it doesn't look good on you", you asked him in the car just as he found his way into the flowing traffic. "I just thought I honor my girls", he said and gave you a little smile before his eyes went back on the road. A smile appeared on your lips as you looked at him from the passenger seat.

His words warmed your heart and actually gave you hope he would make his decision soon. You knew you didn’t give him a final deadline, but you had hoped involving him a lot in your pregnancy and keeping him in the loop would help him make up his mind a little faster.

“You know it’s been weeks since we have spent some time together? Like actual one-on-one alone time as friends?”, you asked from the passenger seat, stroking your belly absentmindedly. “We were alone yesterday. And we’re alone right now”, Ben replied, furrowing his brows. “Yeah, on our way to a stadium with hundreds of people. And there, we’re gonna meet up with Gwil”, you countered. “And James”, he corrected you. “Who?”, you asked. “James Dryden, a buddy of mine. You’re gonna love him. He’s really funny”, Ben explained like it was all good.

When you arrived at the stadium, you had other things in mind. You were finally here. You were so excited. Even the baby was jumping in your belly. You met up with Gwil and James at the gates for the VIP entrance. Ben introduced you to James, his friend from acting school, who was actually really nice. You got through security and you finally had that laminated access pass around your neck and the accompanying bottle of water they handed out because of the hot weather. You will cherish this card for the rest of your life, you thought to yourself. You would frame it and hang it next to your picture with the remaining members of Queen in your living room.

“So, how are you, Y/N?”, Gwil asked, walking with you a few steps in front of Ben and James. You figured since there were a lot of cameras and the words of Ben’s agent Paul howled through your mind, you would keep your distance to Ben out here in the public.

“Good, thanks. The heat is getting to me a bit, belly gets bigger by the second which starts to make things difficult, but all in all good”, you told him and had to shield your eyes when you looked up at him, even though you were wearing your sunglasses.

“Any weird things happening?”, he asked interested. “You mean, besides the thing as a whole?”, you asked sarcastically and chuckled. “Well, if you ask me so directly, constantly horny”, you told him bluntly. “Excuse me, what?”, Gwil sounded surprised by your honesty, and very British.

“Oh yeah. I even read up on it. Seems like pregnant women in the second trimester want it like every hour”, you shared your wisdom with a weirded-out Gwil. “There’s something you can look forward to when you get Dana pregnant”, you winked at him and playfully nudged his arm with your elbow. You laughed even harder when you saw his face turning red.

“Hey Ben, can you take a picture of me in front of the sign?”, you turned around to your best friend as you came up to a big WIMBLEDON sign before you were able to get to the actual court. “Oh yeah, sure”, he took out his phone and snapped a few pics of you with your big grin as you put your arms in the air. You were really excited to be here today.

“Hey, you two should take a few pictures together. Here, let me”, Gwil said and motioned for Ben to go over to you. You really looked like a couple as you were posing in front of the sign, you thought to yourself, you in your white linen dress, Ben in his white shirt and pink suit. He had his arm around your shoulders, your arm was on his back and your head leaned against his shoulder. You could basically hear the e-mail of Ben’s agent being written this second.

Afterwards, James even took a picture of you, Ben and Gwil and then you took a few pictures of the three men. “Alright, enough with this photoshoot. Let’s get inside”, Gwil said and gave Ben his phone back.

“Just a quick fag, okay?”, Ben said and pulled out his cigarettes. “No, go away from me”, you immediately said and walked a few steps away from him. “I told you, you’re not allowed to smoke around me while I’m pregnant”, you said from the few feet away and gestured widely. “Come, Y/N, I’ll go in with you”, Gwil offered and Ben and James told you they would meet you inside.

While you walked to your sector, Gwil put a headphone in his left ear. “What’s that for?”, you asked him a bit irritated. “There’s a cricket game on today and I want to know what’s going on there”, he told you as he checked your tickets for the section before he stopped at flight of stairs.

“Can you give me your hand?”, you asked him and he helped you walk down the stairs as they were quite steep, full of people and you couldn’t see that much with the big belly in front of you. “Okay, back to the earphones. Isn’t it enough if you check your phone from time to time?”, you asked while you carefully placed one foot in front of the other. “I like to know what’s happening when it’s happening”, he told you and finally stopped in front of a row. The seats up to yours were empty so you had no trouble walking through the row until you reached your designated seats.

You took a big sip from your water and then put the bottle at your feet. “Did you bet money on that cricket game? I still don’t get it”, you circled back to his earphones. “No, I just like to hear it”, he shrugged his shoulders and you decided to let it go.

A few minutes went by before Ben and James showed up and you ended up sitting between Gwil and James. You didn’t mind as James was very nice and funny. Also, you were concentrated on the game, so you talked very little, especially for your normal self.

Only a few minutes into the first set, you felt the need to pee and since you were pregnant, holding it wasn’t really an option. “Sorry guys, I have to use the loo”, you excused yourself and shuffled past James and Ben and the other 8 people in your row. You remembered that you had walked past toilets when you came in so you walked up the stairs and to your relief discovered that the stairs had a handrail which you didn’t notice at first because you had Gwil with you.

You were lucky and didn’t have to wait in line, so you made it back just a few minutes later. “Excuse me, sorry, thank you, sorry, excuse me”, you said while shuffling past the same people from before and plopped down in your seat. That little excursion made you so thirsty that you emptied a third of your bottle.

You made it an hour before you had to get up again. And another before you got up for the third time. Nevertheless, the people in your row started to get annoyed by you. And when you got up for the fourth time, you heard a man mumbling, “Jesus Christ”, just as you shuffled past him. “You try holding it in while a 2 pounds eggplant dances on your bladder”, you hissed at him and gave him the stink eyes before you continued your journey to the loo.

You were a bit reluctant to go back and face that guy yet again, so you decided to wander through the VIP area, where they had big TV screens where they showed the game, as well as they had big panorama windows where you could see the court directly.

But your biggest discovery was the free buffet for VIP guests. “And this is all free?”, you asked the waiter behind the table. “Yes, of course. Would you like to try the baked potatoes?”, she offered and held up a tray of little snacks. “Don’t mind if I do”, you replied delighted and only now realized how hungry you were. You grabbed a plate and put quite the food on it before you got comfortable in one of the big lounge chairs directly in front of a big TV screen. The air condition was also a plus.

You didn’t even realize how long you must have been gone until Ben was standing in front of you. “Bloody hell, and I thought something had happened to you”, Ben exclaimed and threw his hands up in the air. “Oh Ben, you gotta try those little baked potatoes, they are amazing”, you only said and held up your plate to him. He looked at you like you were making a joke, but you had already shifted to the side so you were still able to see the screen behind him.

He was relieved that it was just your hunger that had kept you inside and that nothing was up with the baby. Ben sat down on the armrest of the chair and started stealing little nibbles of your food while watching the game with you.

“How about we go back out? You’re at Wimbledon and rather watch the game on TV that happens live just a few feet away from you?”, he asked you after a few minutes. “But what about my feet?”, you asked and put your feet up in the air for a moment. “I’ll give you a foot-rub when you’re back home”, he suggested just to get you going. “Careful, I might call you up on that”, you said and a bit unwillingly handed him your plate and grabbed his other hand so he could pull you to your feet.

“I just have to pee real quick”, you told him and quickly went back to the toilet. Ben finished your plate of food in the meantime, which was already your second serving.

He brought you back out to the guys to watch the last hour of the 5-hour game and it was the best tennis you had ever witnessed. And of all, it had been at Wimbledon. And you had been there to witness it live…for the most part.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a long day with an even longer tennis match behind you, but you couldn’t be happier. Ben takes you home and comes in for a moment…at least that’s what he thought…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you didn’t think, me constantly mentioning that reader’s horny in her state was just for fun, did you?

After the game, Ben took you home and came in for a drink. “It was really hot today”, you said and walked over to your kitchen to drink a glass of water. On the way, you slid out of your shoes and kicked them to the side. Ben took off his sunglasses and put them on the sideboard in your living room. When you came back out of the kitchen, he was standing in the middle of your living room. You walked over to him and put your arms around him.

“Thank you so much for today. Best day ever!”, you said and pressed your cheek against his chest. “You’re welcome”, he said as he wrapped his arms around your upper body and put a kiss on your hair before he rested his chin on the top of your head. You didn’t feel like letting go of him already and Ben also kept his arms around you as you two just stood there in the middle of your living room.

“Are your tired?”, he asked you after a few moments of silence and looked down at you. “No, I just…I feel the need to touch and be held a lot lately. Shannon’s really proving her friendship these days”, you told him. Your best friend Shannon came around a lot and you two just cuddled on the couch watching a movie or she gave you long hugs, just so you could feel safe and protected during your advancing pregnancy.

“But it’s different with a man”, you mumbled at his chest, thinking out loud. “Better?”, he asked with a light chuckle. “Not worse”, you replied and then realized that you two started slightly swaying in your hug.

You sighed deeply and felt yourself getting worked up. Being so close to Ben in your constant horny state was not helpful. Not, if you weren’t able to act on it…

“Can I ask you something?”, he broke the silence again. “Mhm”, you hummed at his chest. “Did I really overhear you saying to Gwil that you are constantly horny these days?”, he asked you and you could hear the grin in his voice.

You rolled your eyes. Of course, that’s what he remembered. “Yes, why?”, you asked him. “Just curious”, Ben shrugged his shoulders. You felt his hands on your back slowly moving around. “Like, how bad is it?”, he asked and now it was your turn to chuckle.

“Honestly? Some days it’s so bad, I can’t even listen to certain songs anymore. Too dangerous”, you told him the truth and smirked up at him. You figured, why not?

“Like which songs?”, he asked, sounding very interested now. “Well, for once, the instrumental part of White Queen, live at the Odeon, that’s really…tough. But Get Down, Make Love, that whole song is dangerous in my state”, you said and felt how he shifted against you.

“Get down, make love”, he said after a few moments and it sounded like he tried to remember the song.

“Get down, make love”, he said again and you closed your eyes, your face still against his chest.

“You take my body…I give you heat”, he continued and it sounded like he was reciting a poem, he wasn’t singing the song, but he tried to get under your skin. “You say you’re hungry…I give you meat”, he almost whispered at this point.

“Ben”, you said in a warning tone, but didn’t look up at him. Instead you kept your eyes closed and pressed your body closer against him. “I suck your mind, you blow my head”, he continued yet again.

“Ben, if you keep this up, you have to act on it”, you told him and finally looked up. The way Ben looked at you, locked eyes with you, made your mouth dry and made your heart race in your chest.

“Make love…inside your bed”, he whispered and just as the last syllable fell off his lips, he pressed them against yours. Your hands wandered underneath his jacket and you dug your nails into him. His hands on your back moved up until one hand was on your cheek and the other roamed through your hair.

The kiss quickly intensified and your whole body was tingling. “Shit, are we really doing this?”, Ben asked as he broke the kiss. With your hands, you slid the jacked off his shoulders. “You started it”, you countered and kissed him again. With your body you pushed him backwards until his legs hit the couch.

He let himself fall on it and pulled you with him.

Still in your dress, you straddled him on your couch and pressed your lips against Ben’s. You felt his tongue dance with yours and your hips started grinding on his crotch. His hands wandered all over your body, scooting up your dress.

Just grinding on him, Ben still in his pink suit, was enough to make you come. He was surprised at how fast and how intense you had just come when he had barely done anything to you. That awakened the urge to test what else he could do to you, how many times he could make you come. He never thought of him being someone who was attracted to pregnant women. But maybe it was because you were pregnant with his baby. He found you sexy before, otherwise you wouldn’t be in the situation you were in right now, but now you radiated something. Something he couldn’t put his finger on. Maybe looking like the personification of fertility and womanhood.

“Want to move this to the bedroom?”, he asked and you nodded quickly before you started kissing his neck. He put his hands on your ass and pressed you against him as he stood up with you still hanging on to him. This was just like the night he got you pregnant.

He walked into your bedroom and carefully placed you on the edge of your bed. “Do you have a condom?”, he asked as he stepped out of his shoes. “What for? It’s not like you could get me even more pregnant”, you said as you kneeled on your bed and started opening his pants. “True”, he agreed and opened them for you.

As Ben slid out of his pants, you started pulling on his shirt. You couldn’t wait to see him naked in front of you, touching him, feeling him. Ben put his hands up as you pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side.

You leaned back for a moment, admiring the view. “You like it?”, he asked you with a dirty smirk as he stood in front of you, wearing just his briefs. “Honestly…I never wanted you more”, you said as you finally looked up at his face. The lust in his eyes matched yours.

You reached up, cupping his face as you started kissing him again. You felt his hands moving to your side, opening the zip of your dress. The release of the fabric around your body made you sigh against his lips. Together, you pulled the dress up and over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties.

For a moment, he was mesmerized by your boobs. “Wow, they really are bigger”, he sounded astonished. “Yep, a whole cup size”, you bragged, turned on that he liked it so much. “A whole cup…”, he mumbled admiringly and before he finished his sentence, Ben bent down, puling the cups from your breasts and sucking on your nipple. You cried out in pleasure, letting your head fall back, your mouth open. They were so sensitive that every twirl of Ben’s tongue around it sent shivers to your already wet center.

You let yourself fall back onto the mattress, pulling him with you. Ben was careful not to lay directly on your belly. Instead, he slid off to the side, putting one arm under your head, making you look directly into his eyes as his other hand made its way down your body, directly into your panties.

As his thick fingers reached your clit, he hissed at the wetness he felt against his fingertips. You gasped at the feeling of him pressing down on your clit, rubbing it gently at first. “Fuck, Ben”, you moaned, biting down on your bottom lip. His fingers started moving faster, being a bit rougher. You were squirming underneath his arm, feeling like you were going to explode. “Open your eyes, babe. Look at me”, he whispered at your ear.

And just as you opened your eyes, catching his intense view, his green eyes shimmering in the light that made its way past the curtains, you came with such an intensity that it took your breath away. Your head shot to the left, pressing your face against his shoulder.

“Again?”, he mumbled and you could hear the smirk in his voice. “Try and stop me”, you panted against his skin. “Never”, he mumbled and found your mouth with his. Your hands found the waistband of his pants and pulled them down. His hard cock sprung free and pressed against your thigh. As Ben pulled your panties off your body, you could feel your wetness starting to drip down your thigh, but couldn’t see it due to your belly.

“Fuck, you’re so hot”, Ben said as he appeared in your field of vision again. The way he stared at your body, looking you up and down made you feel the sexiest you ever had.

“I need you, Ben”, you said and your words couldn’t be truer, in any way possible.

Ben aligned himself with your center and slowly thrusted into you. Your eyes rolled back into your head. You had wanted this for months, you had literally dreamed of this moment so many times in the past few weeks that the reality of it took your breath away.

“Fuck, you feel so good”, Ben grunted as he started moving inside you. He opened your legs wide to go even deeper. You moaned with every of his thrusts, your fingers entangled with each other.

Ben wanted to be careful with you but the lust took over and started pounding into you fast and hard, which you didn’t mind at all.

Until Ben came with a guttural grunt, you had come two more times, seeing stars by the end.

Afterwards, you cuddled in your bed, spooning each other, a blanket covering your legs. Ben had put his hand on your belly and for the first time, he felt the baby kick. “Whoa, was that…?”, he leaned up on his elbow to be able to look at your face. “The baby? I sincerely hope so”, you replied, chuckling at Bens surprised face. He almost couldn’t believe it. “That’s so crazy. Is she doing that often?”, he asked and moved his hand slowly over your belly to find her foot or hand again, whatever gave him the nudge.

“Oh yeah, she can be very active. Especially when I settle down. We probably woke her up”, you told him. “But you don’t think she felt any…you know”, Ben asked with a worried look on his face which made it very hard for you not to laugh. “You’re big, Ben, but no one is that big to invade a fetus’s space at 24 weeks”, you cleared his conscious and patted his hand on your belly. And just like the baby wanted to ease his mind as well, she kicked against his hand again.

“I thought of some baby names”, Ben admitted after a few moments of silence. “You did?”, you asked honestly surprised. You got your hopes up at his words.

“I kind of like the name Victoria”, he said. You chuckled. “What? Do you not like it? We don’t have to…”, you stopped him by patting his hand on your belly again. “That’s actually the name at the top of my list”, you told him.

“Really?”, he sounded surprised, but happy. “Hey, little one. Do you like to be named Victoria?”, he said into the silence of the bedroom and as if she agreed, the baby kicked against his hand. “Shit”, he laughed and buried his face in your hair, pressing his lips onto your neck. “Hi, Vicky”, you said and rubbed your belly next to Ben’s hand.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the middle of the night, you hear a loud noise outside your door and thinks someone is about to break in. As you don’t feel safe in your own flat anymore, you flee to Ben and look for shelter. But it turns out, your night can get even worse…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, it’s super short, but I hope you still enjoy it

In your third trimester, the mood swings started and one of your new moods was being paranoid. One night, you had just come back to bed after a little visit to the bathroom, you heard a loud noise coming from the hall of the building, just outside your flat door. You shot up in your bed and immediately thought someone was trying to break in. Your heart was racing and you could hear your blood pumping in your ears. Maybe it was the maternal instinct that kicked in yet again, but the only thing in your head was, “You will not hurt my baby”.

You basically jumped out of your bed, if you could still call that jumping, and grabbed the first heavy thing you came across on your way to the door, which ended up being a half-full glass water bottle.

“I have phoned the police and I have a weapon”, you exclaimed towards the door. Your voice was shaky and the grip around the neck of the glass water bottle got tighter by the second. You tried to listen for any suspicious sounds, but the blood pounded loudly in your ears, you weren’t sure if you heard anything besides the blood pumping through your veins.

You walked a few steps closer to the door, alarmed and ready to attack. You took a few deep breaths to calm your nerves so you were able to listen for any suspicious sounds outside your flat. Everything seemed sound and asleep in the building. And now you weren’t sure you had even heard something to begin with or if your mind was playing tricks on you.

When it was silent for another 20 minutes you tried to go back to sleep but it was impossible. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, you realized what you were trying to do. What were you thinking? Trying to fight off an intruder with a bottle of water, being 28 weeks pregnant? As you lay in bed, you were scared and felt helpless and vulnerable due to your big belly.

Without thinking any further, you got up and grabbed the first clothes you could reach. You put on a pair of sweatpants and a sweater over your tanktop. On your way out, you grabbed your purse and phone and took a taxi to go to Ben’s flat.

It was almost 3 AM until you arrived and it took him some time to open the door. As soon as he recognized you in his sleepy state, he was wide awake, expecting the worst. “Y/N? What happened? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”, he asked with clear panic in his voice, ushering you into his flat. It had been almost a month since your birthday and what had happened the day after between you two. You hadn’t talked about it, although you had a million questions. But now was not the time.

You quickly told him what happened and realized that it was stupid. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry I woke you up”, you said and wanted to leave again, but Ben didn’t let you as it was the middle of the night.

“Y/N, come on. You don’t actually expect me to let you go out alone in the middle of the night?”, he said and carefully pushed you further into his flat by your shoulders. “You can have my bed, I take the couch”, he offered. You noticed that he didn’t just offer you to sleep next to him in his bed, but you didn’t comment on it.

“Do you need anything?”, he asked as he accompanied you to his bedroom. “A glass of water would be nice”, you said and he immediately walked off to the kitchen to get you one. In the meantime, you slipped out of the sweatpants and took off the sweater and put it on the floor in front of the bed. You had just slipped under the covers as Ben returned. He put the glass of water on the nightstand next to you.

“Goodnight, Y/N. I’ll be guarding the front door for you. You’re safe here”, he said and bent down to kiss you on the head, which made you feel like a little girl. The words “You can guard me in here” appeared in your head, but you kept your mouth shut and just smiled at Ben as he walked out.

You kept on tossing and turning, just not being able to find a good position to sleep in. At home, you had one of those long thin pillows, also used while breastfeeding, but it could also be used for sleeping comfortably when you’re pregnant, which you most definitely were. You were so used to sleep with this thing next and around you that you had real trouble falling asleep.

After what felt like an hour, you finally gave up and walked out to the living room. Ben was asleep, murmuring something in his sleep. For a second you regretted waking him up, but you had no choice. “Ben…Ben, wake up”, you carefully rocked his shoulder. “Huh?”, Ben started from his sleep. “Y/N, are you okay?”, he asked, suddenly wide awake.

“I can’t sleep. I need you”, you told him in a whispered tone. “I’m too tired for sex, but if that’s what you need…”, he mumbled and grabbed the hem of his shirt to pull it over your head. “Stop it, you dumbass. I can’t sleep without my body pillow. I need you as my pillow. Come on”, you said and instead of for waiting an answer of him, you just grabbed his hand and pulled him behind you into his own bedroom.

“And what do I have to do?”, he asked and crawled into the bed. “Just lie down and shut up”, you ordered him and climbed in next to him. You lay down on your side and swung your leg across his and put your left arm over his chest. Your belly was placed on his hip and his left arm was under you. For a moment, you had totally forgotten that you were just wearing a tanktop and your panties, but Ben surely noticed.

“Bloody hell, your feet are ice cold”, he said as you buried your feet between his to get them warmed up. “My pillow doesn’t talk, so shh”, you put a finger on his lips as your head was placed on his shoulder. He put his other arm over your belly as he turned a bit to the side, his chin resting against your forehead. As if your baby girl knew that daddy was here, she started kicking like crazy which made Ben inhale loudly. “Did you feel that?”, he said in a shouted whisper. “Who do you think she has to kick through to get to your hand?”, you asked him sarcastically but had to smile at Ben’s excitement. She kept kicking his hand for a few minutes until you shifted your body because she kept also kicking your kidney.

“Hey, I don’t know if I told you this already, but I’m leaving to shoot a movie in 3 days”, he whispered, his eyes closed. Yours flew open. “No, you must have forgotten”, you replied, also in a whispered tone. “How long will you be gone for?”, you asked as he didn’t continue to talk. “6 weeks”, he mumbled after a few moments. “6 weeks?!”, you plopped yourself up on your elbows. “And when were you planning on telling me this? On the plane on the way there? Where is ‘there’ actually?”, you rose your voice at him.

“I’m telling you right now and ‘there’ is Belfast”, he opened one eye while he was explaining himself to you and then closed it again like he was going back to sleep. “Ben”, you slapped his chest which caused him to finally open both of his eyes for good. “I had booked this job before you got pregnant. Should I cancel everything and ask you for your permission? What do you want me to do?”, he now rose his voice at you.

You opened your mouth to say something, but there was nothing more to say. You felt like you had your answer. You both looked at each other with stern looks until you pushed the blanket off your feet and swung your legs out of the bed.

“Where are you going? It’s the middle of the night”, Ben reached out to grab you by the shoulder but you shook it off.

“It’s already getting bright outside. I’m going home”, you told him. Right now, you couldn’t bare to look at him. You grabbed your sweatpants off the floor which wasn’t as easy anymore as it used to be.

“You don’t have to go, Y/N”, Ben now said in a calmer voice, begging almost. “Good luck with your movie”, you said over your shoulder without turning around and walked out of his bedroom, grabbing your purse on the way through his living room.

His apartment door wasn’t even fully closed behind you as you felt the tears rushing to your eyes.

On your way home, you stopped at a hardware store and got some big locks for your flat door which you installed later that day with the help of Shannon.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben was gone to shoot the movie and you don’t know where you two stand. You feel hopeless and sad. Maybe a dinner date with the BoRhap gang will take your mind off things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With all that’s going on, I hope you all stay safe, be careful and take care of one another. Here’s the next chapter to take your mind off things for a few minutes!

You were sitting at your desk at the office when you got a text message form Ben saying he was about to board the plane. You huffed out loud and put the phone back on the table, screen down. You haven’t spoken to him since you had left his flat that early morning. He tried to call you a few times and texted you a bunch of messages ranging from Sorry to I have a life too, you know!  
You really thought that something had changed. For god’s sake, you had named your baby girl! That’s what parents do. Parents, two people committed to raising a child together. You weren’t so sure about that anymore, not sure at all.

Your thoughts were all over the place and you thought about going home early, but then you would be alone in your flat, again. And being alone with your thoughts was a real strain on your stress-level which you had to watch in your state.

So, instead of packing up your things, you got yourself a fresh cup of tea from the kitchen and continued until well into the afternoon with your work. Afterwards you met up with Shannon at her place to talk about anything and everything, except Ben.

Just as the 30th week of your pregnancy ended, Joe, Lucy and Rami had announced a little visit to good old London and Gwil was kind enough to invite you to dinner. It was weird to meet up with the BoRhap gang without Ben as you felt like an intruder, but Gwil ensured you a couple of times that it was alright and that they wanted you there as they saw you as their friend too.

The day of the dinner wasn’t a good day for you, to be honest. Since you woke up you felt weird and kind of next to yourself. It was a crazy mood-swing day and you felt like you had gotten bigger again over night. Being at the end of 30 weeks meant that the little bean was the size of a zucchini by now and you felt that. She was very active, loved kicking your kidney and bladder and started rummaging around as soon as you sat or lay down.

You felt like you had been pregnant forever and still had 10 weeks to go, but at least only 2 weeks left at work before your maternity leave started.

As the time to leave for dinner approached, you stood in front of your closet, not finding anything to wear. Nothing fit you anymore, even the maternity clothes you had bought a while ago. Maybe you needed to go out and get more, but that didn’t help you tonight. You looked at the white dress from Wimbledon. You didn’t want to wear it as it reminded you of Ben and what had happened after the tennis match, but you felt like you had no choice. It would fit the weather as it was very warm at the end of August.

Just as you put the finishing touches on your make-up, your doorbell rang. Gwil had kindly offered to pick you up. You were sweaty from fighting to close the zipper of your dress. Your feet were swollen and you had trouble bending down to put your shoes on.

As you opened the door, a brightly smiling Gwil was met by your frowning face. “What happened?”, he asked and immediately got serious. “What happened? I tell you what happened! I got so fat that I barely fit into this maternity dress, which was fine a month ago by the way. My feet are swollen and I had to pee 15 times today. FIF-TEEN TIMES!”, you stressed every syllable. Gwil patiently listened to your rambling while you let yourself fall onto your couch.

You felt tears of frustration burning in your eyes. “You should go without me, I’m only bringing the group down”, you said and waved towards the door to tell him to leave. “You don’t actually think I’m going to leave you like this. We will bring your mood right up. Now, where are your shoes?”, he asked and looked around your flat.

You pointed at the white sandals by the door with a pout. You didn’t feel better just yet, but you wanted to give it a try. Gwil helped you in your shoes by kneeling in front of you like the prince in Cinderella. And then he stood up and held the hand out to pull you off your couch.

“You’re so nice. Dana is a very lucky woman”, you told him and felt a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes again. Kindness of other people towards you seemed to be a trigger lately.

“Aw, it’s all good, Y/N”, he said and wrapped his long arms around you. “Let’s get some food in you and the world will be a better place, you’ll see”, he said while patting your back. You nodded and sniffed at his chest.

The others waited in front of the restaurant when you arrived with Gwil. Lucy came towards you and pulled you into a tight hug which you really needed today. Joe and Gwil acted like some lovebirds as they hugged tightly when they saw each other again after a long time. They even snapped some funny hugging pictures.

“Y/N, haven’t seen you in forever”, Joe said when he finally let go of Gwil and greeted you. He gave you a hug too, careful not to squish your belly. “Wow, you’ve gotten so big, really impressive”, Joe said and let his hands hover over your big belly. Gwil behind you made motions to him to cut it out as you weren’t in a good mood.

“I’m growing a human, of course I’m big”, you said with a stern voice. The smile had dropped from your face. “Believe me, I’m aware of how big I am, I’m carrying it around with me 24/7”, you almost grunted at the end. Joe looked at you with big eyes as he slowly retreated his hands. Lucy and Rami stood behind him silent.

“Alright, alright, we all calm down now”, Gwil was the first to speak and rubbed your upper arms to calm you down. “Y/N is feeling a bit down today, so let’s all go inside now and get some food”, he said and gently pushed you towards the entrance of the restaurant. Lucy linked arms with you and helped you up the stairs, patting your hand.

“Picky subject today”, you heard Gwil answer a question from Joe you weren’t able to hear before. “Don’t take it personal, she’s having a hard day”, Gwil added before your attention was focused on the hostess, guiding you to your table.

You sat down on the end of the bench as you would have to get up a few times during dinner and didn’t want to disturb the others when you did.

Joe sat down next to you which you didn’t think he would after your outburst. “Joe, I’m really sorry for before. I’m not myself at the moment and it’s getting worse with every week of pregnancy. I didn’t want to talk to you that way”, you said and felt tears in your eyes again. Dammit, you had no control over your emotions whatsoever!

“Oh, Y/N, please, don’t. It’s all good. Everybody knows I can’t read a room if my life depended on it”, Joe waved off your concerns. “At all, I need to apologize to you”, he added and padded your hand on the table. You felt a tear escaping your eye and running down your cheek. “Thanks, Joe”, you said and quickly wiped it away. Joe grabbed your hand he was patting, pulled it up to his mouth and gently pressed his lips to the back of your hand. Watching him do that made you giggle.

“You’re stupid”, you said while blushing a bit and pulled your hand back. “Aaand we’re back to normal, thank god”, Gwil said from the other end of the table and grabbed the menu to look at the food options.

It was silent for a moment as you all looked through the menu. “What I wanted to ask you, Y/N, what does the app say, what fruit are we today?”, Lucy asked you over the menu card in her hand. “The zucchini lasagna looks good”, Joe said to Rami, who was sitting next to him.

“It’s actually a zucchini today”, you answered her. “And that’s a no to the lasagna”, Joe said and closed his menu.

The plates of the main course had just been taken away by the waiters and you had ordered another round of drinks. “So, how’s Ben these days?”, Rami asked and mostly looked at you as he thought you would be the best source for that. Joe looked at you like he knew what was going on, which he probably did as Ben’s best friend.

“We’re not talking that much at the moment”, you told him and under the table your hand wandered to your belly, stroking it lightly to comfort yoursel. “Oh really, why not?”, Rami asked a follow-up question. Joe kicked him under the table and Rami was better at getting hints as Joe usually was.

“We had a little falling out before he left for the movie two weeks ago and weren’t able to work it out yet…But I will try and call him later”, you added and felt that it was the truth. You missed him and it felt more and more stupid to not talk to the father of your baby over one argument.

“Sounds good, who wants dessert?”, Gwil asked to stir the conversation away from another picky subject. He raised his hand to gesture the waiter to your table.

“I’m sure you talked to him, so tell us, how is he?”, you turned to Joe and basically gave him permission to talk about him. “He’s good, focusing on his work. He gets along with the cast, which is always good and yeah, it’s going pretty well up there”, he said and hinted at Belfast, the place where Ben was shooting is current movie. “He misses you”, he said to you in a lower voice for the other ones not to hear. Joe’s words made you smile and your baby girl kicked.

“Oh and he got the role in that thriller movie”, he said and Gwil nodded happily. Seemed like he had heard about this. You didn’t know what he was talking about but didn’t want the others to know.

“A thriller? Sounds awesome. Where and when will they shoot it?”, Rami asked and took a sip from his drink. “Ehm, I think in Canada, I forgot the exact place. And it’ll start in November or October, he’s not sure yet, but it’ll be about a 6 weeks shoot”, Joe explained.

Your mouth went dry and your heart sank. Not only had Ben not told you about a probable upcoming project, it would also last the entire November. November 1st was the due date of you baby and he would not be here. He had known about your pregnancy and the due date since the end of February. And even if he had just gotten the go-ahead for his new movie, he had auditioned for it and agreed to the part well after you had broken the news of your pregnancy to him. The little hope you had just felt a few minutes ago was erased completely. You had your final answer. Ben would not be here for you and the baby, he did not take you two into account for his future life and career plans. That was clear to you now.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe properly and you felt your face going pale. You needed to be alone right now. “Excuse me for a moment”, you said and got up from the bench with shaking knees. “Y/N, are you alright?”, Lucy asked and her alarming tone had the heads of the guys turning as well. “The toilettes…I need to go…I-I’ll be right back”, you stuttered as you grabbed your purse and stumbled towards the restrooms. “I’ll go check on her”, you vaguely heard Lucy behind you before you finally reached the door of the ladies’ restroom. You just so managed to get into an empty stall before throwing up tonight’s dinner.

Just a moment later, you heard heels clicking rapidly over the restrooms tile floor before someone pulled your hair from your face, holding it in your neck while simultaneously rubbing gently over your back. “Oh, Y/N, it’s all going to be okay”, Lucy said, but she didn’t sound too sure herself.

A few days later in Belfast…  
Ben grabbed a fresh cup of coffee from the buffet table at the studio they were filming at today. He was in-between scenes and used the break to clear his head and get ready for his next scene with Alec Baldwin. Alec’s kids had visited in the morning which was pure chaos as he had 4 kids, all under the age of 8.

Ben was a bit overwhelmed by the feelings he suddenly felt as he had watched his co-star hold his youngest son, a little over a year old. He could be doing that soon with his first-born. And as always panic and fear clawed at his chest. A child was such a huge responsibility and there were so many things he could to do fuck it all up. Ben always felt the need to smoke a cigarette when thinking about it, he was so stressed out.

“Quite the family you got there”, Ben said as he sat down next to the Hollywood actor. “There’s always action in my house, that’s for sure, but I wouldn’t want it any other way”, Alec commented and a big smile formed on his face. Ben didn’t even realize that his face had changed until Alec nudged his arm with his elbow. “What’s up with you? You got real quiet just now”, he asked. “I…It’s just…”, Ben began but didn’t know how to finish the sentence. “I can see you got something on your mind. You don’t have to tell me, but from experience, I got quite the amount of that, you feel better after talking about it”, Alec advised him and offered an open ear.

Ben looked at his co-star hesitantly and somehow ended up telling him that he’s about to be a father but hadn’t made up his mind yet if he wanted to be involved in the baby’s life or take the easy way out and be the fun uncle. Alec didn’t say anything while he listened.

“I had my first daughter young and I’ve been an idiot back then. And now, we have a complicated relationship”, Alec told Ben and looked up from his cup of coffee. “That little girl is out there if you want it or not, she’s your daughter”, Alec said with emphasis.

”Do you love the mother?”, he asked Ben after a moment of silence and it made Ben look up from the cup in his hands. The look Alec gave Ben could only be described as intense.

“Yeah…I mean, we’re best friends…”, Ben answered truthfully, but it sounded almost like a question. “That’s the best basis you could ask for, man! Don’t lose that. Work it out with her. And get your head out of your ass, for god’s sake, you’re going to be a father”, Alec said to his co-star. In other words, but pretty much the same thing, his father had said to him not too long ago, but it seemed that Ben had to hear it from a neutral third party to actually make it stick. He felt like something just had been triggered inside him.

“Ehm, thanks Alec”, Ben said, almost with a shy smile. “You’re welcome, buddy. Let’s get that scene done, I’m ready to get back to the hotel and spend time with my family”, Alec said as he got out of his chair and patted Ben on his shoulder pretty hard.


End file.
